World Cup: Changing The Way We View Bribery, One Soul At A Time
Despite an early exit from the 2010 World Cup, one should assume that South Africa is still jazzed to be hosting the tournament in the first place. The country wanted it bad. Real bad. Like soul-stirringly bad.
Mourn in the U.S.A. (Let’s Make the Rest of the World Cup a Quick Series of Sudden Death Matches)
America’s run in the World Cup ended as quickly as it started. The only options now are to either root for some other team or go back to disowning soccer altogether. The second option seems most likely, especially knowing how long it’s going to take the rest of the World Cup to wind down. No one wants to hear how awesome a party became after they left early, right?
This Seems Like Something A Texan Would Do
When I was a teen, I was a big enough Cubs fan that I shaved the team logo into the back of my head. I dunno why, but it seemed hardcore at the time. Hardcore enough that no one would ever dare confuse me with a) someone who was indifferent to the Cubs and b) someone whose mother was proud of him.
As disappointed as my mom might have been, it could have been worse. Here’s exhibit A.
Who’s Ready To See This Man Naked?
I won’t bury the lede on this one. Soccer legend and Argentina coach Diego Maradona has publicly promised to run naked through the center of Buenos Aires if his team wins the World Cup.
And if you’ve ever seen attractive Argentians get naked (and who hasn’t?) you should know just how horrifying this promise is.
Paraguayans All Look Alike … To The French?
One of these guys may have robbed all the others. It’s hard to tell – especially if you’re a staff member at the Evian-les-Bains hotel in France.
