There are three stages to every karaoke experience. The first is the stage in which one is just so jazzed to hear  somebody – anybody – singing Salt ‘n’ Peppa’s “Shoop” that you hurl yourself into the drunken throng and decide to go up on stage next. We’ll call this the Excitement Stage. Next, is the stage in which one stupidly chooses to attempt CCR’s “Suzie Q” and remembers three minutes into the performance that the song is not only seven minutes long, but tasks the singer to say the words “Suzie” and “Q” hundreds of times before it’s over. We’ll call this the Reality Stage. The final stage starts immediately after one steps off stage and decides that although they performed awesomely, there remained some room for improvement. This is usually followed up with a drunken attempt at a Police song that is way out of their range. We’ll call this the Selective Amnesia Stage. This is the stage most fantasy hoopsters find themselves in now with Blake Griffin.

All signs point to Blake Superior’s knee being perfectly healthy and he’s quickly becoming the chic pick for Rookie of the Year. Everything that’s old is new again. Blake Griffin ROY talk, that was sooo summer ’09. By winter, we all moved on to Brandon Jennings ROY talk. I guess, just like backless suits, Griffin ROY picks are never fully out of fashion. John Wall is for the bourgeoisie. DeMarcus Cousins is for the counter-culture naves. Griffin is for people of scholarly upbringing and discerning elegance.

… Except that Griffin was projected to average 18/10 with a FT% of .610 and fewer than three assists last season. Considering he’ll still land somewhere in that range, I’m as unconvinced that’s enough to surpass Cousins or Wall’s output as I am that those averages would have earned him the ROY nod over Tyreke Evans last season. Griffin is still a beast, just as Greg Oden is still a beast, but he’s a beast with a year’s worth of worry about re-injury and rust. All of this, on top of Vinny Del Negro taking over the reigns in L.A. and finding new and intriguing ways not to play his best players during stretches where he really should be playing his best players.  Have fun with Griffin, just understand that he might not be able to hit all the high notes the second time around.  31 mpg / .560 / .610 / 0.0 3pt / 17.5 ppg / 9.5 rpg / 2.1 apg / 1.3 spg / 0.9 bpg / 3.1 tov

__________________

Photo courtesy of Flickr

With Summer League over, I thought it might not be a bad idea to take a look at some of the big winners and losers from the three week series of exhibitions. Then I thought it might be a bad idea if people read this and begin ranking their rosters according to player output in July. Then I remembered that I only have two readers and my parents don’t start ranking their players until mid-August. So we’re good.

Take everything with a grain of salt. This is pre-season exhibition hoops starring the youngest players in the league … and J.R. Smith, who was just bored, I guess. This is a movie trailer, not the whole feature film. This isn’t even the normal trailer studios release six weeks before the film opens, this is the trailer they release a year in advance to alert you they’ve just started shooting the film. Seriously, don’t start standing in line for a movie that is nowhere near being released.

W I N N E R S

John Wall, WAS Led the league in points, assists and was second in steals, despite shooting .377 from the floor. The Great Wall of Chinatown’s performance is less noteworthy than that of his teammate, JaVale McGee. Epic Vale shot nearly 69 percent from the floor while averaging the league’s fourth most points and rebounds over five games. A John Wall that makes other Wizards better is a more dangerous John Wall than previously anticipated.

Armon Johnson, POR Finished in the top 10 in minutes played (4th), assists (10th) and steals (9th). What’s it get him? Well, if the Blazers eschew Rudy Fernandez and Patty Mills continues doing whatever Patty Mills did last year, Armon becomes their mon in Portland … right after Brandon Roy and Wesley Matthews.

DeMarcus Cousins, SAC He double-doubled in each of his four games. And managed not to break things, throw things, whine at things, ignore things, or exhibit any of the characteristics that made him drop from the No.2 pick in the draft to No.5. If Wall is a 40th-60th pick in the draft, assume Cousins won’t be far behind.

Pooh Jeter, CLE I’m pulling for this guy to get some burn if for no other reason than the prospect of a guy named Pooh and a guy named Boobie together in the Cavs backcourt at some point this season.

Jeff Teague, ATL Found himself in the top 16 in points, assists and minutes played. Teague’ll play more than last season, but not more than Mike Bibby. Meanwhle the rest of the Hawks will do everything they can to help Bibby fall down a staircase here or a black ice patch there. You know – whatever.

Dominique Jones, DAL Mavericks coach Rick Carlisle said this about his rookie guard: “Dominique has a great knack for finding the crevasses, creating space, getting the contact, and finishing …” This quote sounds like it came from a man who could use a little more attention from Mrs. Carlisle.

DeMar DeRozan, TOR Had the third-highest ppg average in the entire summer league and the highest point-per-minute average. And this is how you know the summer league is fluky.

Derrick Caracter, LAL I toyed with the idea of giving Derricter an early nickname  after he averaged 15 and 9 in the summer league, but thought better of it. As this is the only time you’ll hear from the guy for the rest of the season, it seemed disrespectful to rob the man of his name. Like when Muhammad Ali called everyone “killer” or John Wayne called everyone “sport” because they couldn’t remember or never knew anyone’s actual name. Or like how my father only refers to me as “You Again.”

Larry Sanders, MIL Not much to speak about on offense, but he led the summer league with 3.2 blocks per game and grabbed a flock of rebounds (8.4 rbd). What does one call a group of rebounds? A pride? A school? A throng? Add that to the list of things Sanders can think about while cooling his jets on Milwaukee’s bench all season.

L O S E R S

Rodrigue Beaubois, DAL An ankle tweak slowed him down, as did learning to lead the point. If Beaubois means “attractive wood,” his summer league was more of a “mochebois.” Google it.

Evan Turner, PHI His threes were off, his twos were off, his drives were off, his shot was off. Just off. Like a camper near a buggy bayou – just full of off.

Eric Bledsoe, LAC Led the summer league in minutes played, but barely cracked the top 20 in assists (17) and steals (18). A perfect replacement for Baron Davis, indeed.

Look, Lopez went down in April 2009 with a nasty back injury that more or less hampered him the remainder of that season and laid him low again in April and May 2010. Don’t scoff at back injuries either. The back is the window to the soul – assuming you’ve misplaced your soul. And even with a misplaced soul, it’s clear Lopez is developing. In just one season, Lopez jumped from a player efficiency of 12 to an 18 PER (15 is average, 20 puts you in the league’s top 30). Despite missing the last two months of his rookie season, Fro-pez’s ORtg jumped from 112 in 2009 to 123 in 2010 (107 is the league average).

So, yeah. You want him rested. Let ‘im take as many laps in the lazy river as he wants because the Suns are going to need him, his back and his silly hair to be ready come Opening Day. They’re gonna need that back issue to … well, to not be an issue. They’re gonna need him to play more than 60 games, more than 19 minutes in those games and reach the line plenty of times while ticking off those minutes. From a fantasy perspective, he’s going to need to do all the grinding, thumping big man stuff that Amar’e Stoudemire was supposed to do (but often shied away from doing). He’ll certainly get the minutes to do all that bumpin’ and grinding (eww), but if I may pull on the reigns a bit, his back hasn’t been proven to be a thing of the past yet. Don’t pass up good backs for bad backs. Or baby backs. Or greenbacks. But if Sideshow Rob is still available in the last third of your draft – pounce.

It’ll be the Lopez Show at times for the Suns, which might cause some immigration problems down in Phoenix, but none for your team. 32 mpg / .570 / .720 / 0.0 / 15.1 pts / 8.0 rbd / 0.6 ast / 0.5 stl / 1.8 blk / 2.0 tov

____________________

Photo courtesy of Yahoo! Sports via Getty Images

Tiago Splitter

Unless you spell it “Dunkin.”

What I’m saying is, I don’t really need to run down Splitter’s splits in the Spanish league. You know he’s that league’s reigning MVP and his name is Tiago Splitter.

Okay, perhaps it wouldn’t hurt to know that the guy San Antonio has been trying to bring over here for three years is here and will jump right into his rookie year in the NBA either playing alongside Duncan at center or backing him up with DeJuan Blair filling the four. People felt Blair was a nice late pick last year, but feared his knees wouldn’t hold up to a full NBA season (he played all 82 games). Splitter comes with more promise and fewer concerns than DeJuan. Considering Splitter’s polished game (aside from an overly physical tendency that might land him in foul trouble) and Duncan’s minutes steadily declining in each of his last five seasons, this guy is primed for a surprising season that should come out of nowhere for a lot of fantasy owners. Don’t be one of ‘em. Remember the name: Tiago Splitter.  25.3 mpg / .515 / .770 / 0.0 3ptm / 11.1 pts / 6.6 rbd/ 1.6 ast / 0.9 stl / 0.7 blk / 1.6 tov

_____________________________

Photo courtesy of Yahoo! Sports via the AP

Ever since the epic exodus of Zydrunas Ilgauskas from the Cavaliers, it’s been almost entirely forgotten that Cleveland still has a few players remaining on its roster. And because Big Z is no longer on the team averaging tons of points and tons of minutes, the good news for fantasy owners is that the leftovers are all likely to produce more. We might never have had a Steve Young if Joe Montana hadn’t missed the entire ’91 season. We might never have had Harrison Ford if Kurt Russell had been cast as Han Solo. And we might never get to see J.J. Hickson‘s 15/7 season if Ilgauskas hadn’t singularly broken the hearts of Ohioans (Ohioates? Ohiomans? Ohiomies?) by moving to Miami. What a bastard. Seriously, have you talked to a Cavs fan lately? They’re so mishugenuh about losing Z that everytime I’ve mentioned to one of them how hard it must be root for a Ilgauskas-less Cavs team, they look at me as if I’m both stupid and missing some larger picture that I’m sure I’m not missing.

Double-J improved steadily, if not loudly, in his sophomore season, starting 73 of the 81 games he played. And while he only played 21 minutes and fought for his touches while on the floor (earning only an 18.9 USG% last season), he was a defensive force and an offensive weapon when given the chance. A guy who can navigate through Shaquille O’Neal, Z, Anderson Varejao and the addition of Antawn Jamison 2/3 of the way through the season while generally improving is a guy set to break out with far fewer obstacles in his way the following season. New coach Byron Scott has already hinted at bringing Jamison off the bench and Juicy-Juice’s 24/7 summer league averages aren’t doing anything to make him re-think this stance. Even if Jamison does start and Hickson is the first off the bench, he’ll own that Sixth Man role and he’ll have center eligibility to go with it. Watch him make Cleveland forget all about … Zydrunas Ilgauskas. 30.3 min / .624 / .691 / 0.0 3pt / 14.6 pts / 7.2 rbd / 1.3 ast / 0.8 stl / 0.8 blk / 1.5 tov

Prokhorov was going to change the Nets. He was going to bring LeBron aboard (strike one), along with another big free agent (strike two, unless Jordan Farmar is considered big – which he is not) and he was going to create a playoff-worthy team in 2011 that would win a championship by 2015 (probably strike three). And he made Nets fans confident that it would happen. Then it didn’t and what is happening in New Jersey makes the back of my eyeballs hurt.

Anthony Morrow as your team’s biggest acquisition will do that to eyeballs. This isn’t to say Anthony Morrow isn’t a good acquisition – he is. It is. They both is. Whatever. Bone Morrow is capable of giving fantasy owners 15 points and 2-3 treys a night. But he won’t. Not this year. Not this team. Not playing the 27-30 minutes a game he’ll manage to steal from sophomore Terrence Williams and third-year Courtney Lee. Morrow has the highest upside of this trio. Williams is the most likely to develop more of a small forward’s game and Lee is the best defender. But anything Lee can do Morrow can do better is the tune I’d sing if Annie got her gun, stuck it to my head and told me sing her a story.

You’re all into musical theater, right?

There’s worth here. And there. And right there. No, not there. That’s Johan Petro. Behind him. There. But come draft day, I’d wait to grab Lee three or four rounds later than when it feels right or not at all until the picture becomes clearer in Mudville. 31 mpg / .440 / .855 / 0.9 3pt / 11.5 pts / 2.8 rbd / 2.2 ast / 1.0 stl / 0.4 blk / 2.0 tov

________________________

Marcus Thornton, NO Out for the final three summer league games after bruising his left shin against the Heat on Sunday. Considering the Heat have one guy under contract, you’d think Thornton would have been able to avoid running into him. That’s like two cars colliding in the middle of the desert. This injury doesn’t seem to be too serious. I’d say about as serious as the summer league itself. It’s like a handful of fraternity fellas who try and throw a wine and cheese party for a change. They set it up, invite their friends, wear ties, but as soon as someone changes the “Wine and Cheese Party” playlist to the “I’m on a Boat, MOFo” playlist, the ties come off and everybody’s playing Flip Cup with Franzia.

Darren Collison, NO And speaking of collisions, if you type that word real fast, you’ll probably misspell it as “collison,” which, although incorrect, can come in handy as a segue to discuss Darren Collison news. Ready? Let’s try it. Darren Collison will also miss the remainder of summer league so he can take classes at UCLA and finish up his bachelor’s degree.

John Wall, WAS Scored 18 points to go with 10 assists and five steals in his second summer league game. He also hasn’t missed a free throw in an NBA uniform (19-for-19) … yet. You see what I did there? I went and got pessimistic for no reason.

Zydrunas Ilgauskas, MIA I believe “salt in the wound” directly translates to “Going to Miami” in Lithuanian.

Jordan Farmar, NJ Backing up Devin Harris instead of Derek Fisher. What’s the difference? Staring at Snookie instead of Dyan Cannon whilst sitting on the bench. Meh. It’s like comparing apples and orange-colored people.

Hedo Turkoglu, PHO Will take his slightly above-average scoring skills Phoenix, where his success – like the success of a puppy being trained to pee in the yard – will be measured solely on how he does outside. He’s not a spot-shooter, but the Suns are going to need him to be. They’ll at least need Turk to not hold the ball for 15 seconds looking to create a shot. Phoenix probably has a better chance of training him to pee in public.

Quentin Richardson, ORL Q is hopping Florida teams in an effort to replace J.J. Redick’s spot-shooting along with Matt Barnes’ size and rotation off the bench. If the Magic don’t actually end up ridding themselves of Redick or Barnes, look for a broom handle to be snapped in half and tossed into an empty room along with all three men, where they’ll stay until one of them is dead.

DeMarcus Cousins, SAC 14/10 Double-double in his first summer league game. Me and my cousins and you and your Cousins/ I can feel it comin’.

______________________

In 1973, Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band released the album “Greetings From Asbury Park” and the nine people who bought the album heard the promise of a future Dylan in those songs. And by “future Dylan,” I mean the one that recorded the largely ignored “World Gone Wrong” in the early 90s. Both were wordy, folksy, singy, songwritery mop-top winning acclaim for songs to which no one was actually listening. Ten months later, Springsteen released “The Wild, the Innocent and the E Street Shuffle” and the heir-apparent to Dylan looked a little different, a little brasher, more confident, less clumsy. There was the promise of bigger things to come. Not yet, but soon. Two years later Columbia Records released “Born To Run” and the rest was history. Unless you’re a Rush fan, in which case you have no idea what I’m talking about. In that case, turn off “2112″ for a minute and follow me Eastward, where another young Jerseyan is also working toward something bigger.

I’m speaking, of course, of Yi Jianlian: starting power forward for the Nets … For real? He was traded? Well, why wasn’t I notified? Cripes. Okay. Uh, lemme check my notes here. I’ll just have to rewrite a few things … Hold on a sec …

…

… I’m speaking, of course, of Derrick Favors: starting power forward for the Nets. At least it appears that he’ll be starting. I can’t imagine Sean Williams‘ 11 minutes per game last year were enough to compel the Nets to start him and every other PF from last year is off the team. Then again, this is the summer in which 178 NBA agents are free and it seems like half of them were all-stars last year, so this ain’t a promise that Favors will be the man come Opening Day. Today though, he’s the man full of promise on this young and undefined Nets team.

But remember that Springsteen stuff? From, like, three paragraphs ago? It’s five inches above this sentence. It’s weird that you don’t remember it. Scroll back up, review and come on back. Got it? Okay. Favors won’t do much for you this season as the Nets will be working on their “Greetings From Asbury Park” in 2010-11. It’ll be solid. Manfred Mann will resurrect his career on a few of the singles, but the real stuff won’t happen ’til ’13. Give this kid two more seasons, let the comparisons to Dylan die down, maybe Favors will tighten up his musical storytelling a bit and the Nets will be a-rockin’.

The bad news is that Favors is teeny and will probably get pushed around. The good news is that he’ll likely be given all the minutes he can handle this season to figure out how not to get pushed around so much in 2011-12. The sequel to the first bad news is that him figuring things out will result in some messy fantasy lines this season. Messy enough that you might want to lose Favors in the flood of other more promising rookies come draft day. So “For You,” here’s what to expect from Favors while he spends the season “Growin’ Up”: 25.5 mpg / .550 / .645 / 0.0 3pt / 10.0 pts / 6.5 rbd / 0.7 ast / 0.5 spg / 1.5 bpg / 1.8 tov

____________________________

Photo courtesy of Flickr

Full disclosure: my sister went to junior high and part of high school with Evan Turner. Anything my sister likes, I like. Yes, even “Twilight.” Yes, even “Grey’s Anatomy.” Yes, even her boyfriend who I’ve met only a few times. Anyway, I like Turner. Maybe even something a bit more than “like.” Call it “lork.” We’re going with lork. So take my forecasting here with a grain of lork.

And hopefully, my lork is second only to the well deserved lork in Philadelphia for this guy. Turner could make Philly a halfway decent franchise again, even if that franchise hasn’t quite figured itself out yet. It’s still asking questions about Andre Iguodala‘s usefulness, still making trades that involves Andres Nocioni wearing a Sixers jersey next season and still favoring Jrue Holiday as the starting PG over Lou Williams. Maybe these issues will get sorted out before the season tips off, maybe not, but the organization has cemented this rookie from Ohio State into its starting lineup for next year.

Turner averaged 20 points, 9 boards and 6 assists in 36 minutes per game last season. He also shot over 50 percent from the floor while also earning nearly two steals and a block per contest. At 6’7″, he’ll be longer than most of the SGs he’ll face (good) but with Doug Collins encouraging Iguodala to shoot fewer threes and get to the line more, Turner may be asked to stay outside more often than he’s used to (bad). This might help his threes, but it’ll almost certainly puncture his FG%.  But he can do it. Oh my lork, can he do it!  Also, my sister says he was down to Earth when he was 13 and smiled a lot. I’m not sure how that translates into fantasy, but a smiley mug seems more positive than negative, no?

… Unless she said Turner has a Miley mug, in which case I might question both his musical tastes and drink container options.

Bottom line: Even if Iguodala stays, Collins will play him at SF and Turner at SG. Turner will get solid minutes, and his talent will carry him through an occasionally bumpy, but overall successful rookie year.
Bottom line, part 2: He’ll have a place on fantasy teams, but he’ll be a middle round choice at best. Don’t get caught reaching. Even if Iggy goes, it’s unlikely that they’ll get anyone who will threaten Turner’s spot in the starting five. Williams, Willie Green and Royal Ivey won’t either. This is Turner’s lawn to mow, bro. Though in Philly, they call it cuttin’ the grass. This is how he’ll chop it down: 30.6 mpg / .459 / .770 / 14.4 pts / 0.8 3pt / 4.9 rbd / 4.5 ast / 1.6 stl / 0.8 blk / 3.0 tov

___________________________

Photo courtesy of Flickr

Then there’s Kirk Hinrich, who started in 53 games last year and averaged 11 points and 5 assists. He’ll fill the gaps at PG, SG and even SF if necessary, but he’ll do it playing 20-25 minutes per game. Those minutes have to come from somewhere.

The (tip-in) point is, if the Wizards don’t rid themselves of this excess guardage, Wall is going to dull instead of sparkle. He’ll average 33 minutes instead of 36 and throw down a rookie season more akin to Deron Williams (29 min / 11 pts/ 5 ast) than Derrick Rose (37 mpg/ 17 pts / 6 ast).

The “ifs” here are larger than the crime rate in D.C. If the Wiz can ease Arenas on down the road to another team, Wall’s stock goes up. If Arenas can play beside Wall and vice-versa, both stocks go up. If Washington can win using the 6’3″ Hinrich as a backup SF as he was occasionally used on the Bulls, Wall’s stock goes up. As it stands now, I think John hits the wall at: 33 mpg / .454 / .777 / 0.8 3ptm / 14.9 pts / 4.3 rbd / 5.1 ast / 1.2 stl / 0.3 blk / 3.3 tov

__________________________

Photo courtesy of Yahoo! Sports via the AP