With Summer League over, I thought it might not be a bad idea to take a look at some of the big winners and losers from the three week series of exhibitions. Then I thought it might be a bad idea if people read this and begin ranking their rosters according to player output in July. Then I remembered that I only have two readers and my parents don’t start ranking their players until mid-August. So we’re good.

Take everything with a grain of salt. This is pre-season exhibition hoops starring the youngest players in the league … and J.R. Smith, who was just bored, I guess. This is a movie trailer, not the whole feature film. This isn’t even the normal trailer studios release six weeks before the film opens, this is the trailer they release a year in advance to alert you they’ve just started shooting the film. Seriously, don’t start standing in line for a movie that is nowhere near being released.

W I N N E R S

John Wall, WAS Led the league in points, assists and was second in steals, despite shooting .377 from the floor. The Great Wall of Chinatown’s performance is less noteworthy than that of his teammate, JaVale McGee. Epic Vale shot nearly 69 percent from the floor while averaging the league’s fourth most points and rebounds over five games. A John Wall that makes other Wizards better is a more dangerous John Wall than previously anticipated.

Armon Johnson, POR Finished in the top 10 in minutes played (4th), assists (10th) and steals (9th). What’s it get him? Well, if the Blazers eschew Rudy Fernandez and Patty Mills continues doing whatever Patty Mills did last year, Armon becomes their mon in Portland … right after Brandon Roy and Wesley Matthews.

DeMarcus Cousins, SAC He double-doubled in each of his four games. And managed not to break things, throw things, whine at things, ignore things, or exhibit any of the characteristics that made him drop from the No.2 pick in the draft to No.5. If Wall is a 40th-60th pick in the draft, assume Cousins won’t be far behind.

Pooh Jeter, CLE I’m pulling for this guy to get some burn if for no other reason than the prospect of a guy named Pooh and a guy named Boobie together in the Cavs backcourt at some point this season.

Jeff Teague, ATL Found himself in the top 16 in points, assists and minutes played. Teague’ll play more than last season, but not more than Mike Bibby. Meanwhle the rest of the Hawks will do everything they can to help Bibby fall down a staircase here or a black ice patch there. You know – whatever.

Dominique Jones, DAL Mavericks coach Rick Carlisle said this about his rookie guard: “Dominique has a great knack for finding the crevasses, creating space, getting the contact, and finishing …” This quote sounds like it came from a man who could use a little more attention from Mrs. Carlisle.

DeMar DeRozan, TOR Had the third-highest ppg average in the entire summer league and the highest point-per-minute average. And this is how you know the summer league is fluky.

Derrick Caracter, LAL I toyed with the idea of giving Derricter an early nickname  after he averaged 15 and 9 in the summer league, but thought better of it. As this is the only time you’ll hear from the guy for the rest of the season, it seemed disrespectful to rob the man of his name. Like when Muhammad Ali called everyone “killer” or John Wayne called everyone “sport” because they couldn’t remember or never knew anyone’s actual name. Or like how my father only refers to me as “You Again.”

Larry Sanders, MIL Not much to speak about on offense, but he led the summer league with 3.2 blocks per game and grabbed a flock of rebounds (8.4 rbd). What does one call a group of rebounds? A pride? A school? A throng? Add that to the list of things Sanders can think about while cooling his jets on Milwaukee’s bench all season.

L O S E R S

Rodrigue Beaubois, DAL An ankle tweak slowed him down, as did learning to lead the point. If Beaubois means “attractive wood,” his summer league was more of a “mochebois.” Google it.

Evan Turner, PHI His threes were off, his twos were off, his drives were off, his shot was off. Just off. Like a camper near a buggy bayou – just full of off.

Eric Bledsoe, LAC Led the summer league in minutes played, but barely cracked the top 20 in assists (17) and steals (18). A perfect replacement for Baron Davis, indeed.

Look, Lopez went down in April 2009 with a nasty back injury that more or less hampered him the remainder of that season and laid him low again in April and May 2010. Don’t scoff at back injuries either. The back is the window to the soul – assuming you’ve misplaced your soul. And even with a misplaced soul, it’s clear Lopez is developing. In just one season, Lopez jumped from a player efficiency of 12 to an 18 PER (15 is average, 20 puts you in the league’s top 30). Despite missing the last two months of his rookie season, Fro-pez’s ORtg jumped from 112 in 2009 to 123 in 2010 (107 is the league average).

So, yeah. You want him rested. Let ‘im take as many laps in the lazy river as he wants because the Suns are going to need him, his back and his silly hair to be ready come Opening Day. They’re gonna need that back issue to … well, to not be an issue. They’re gonna need him to play more than 60 games, more than 19 minutes in those games and reach the line plenty of times while ticking off those minutes. From a fantasy perspective, he’s going to need to do all the grinding, thumping big man stuff that Amar’e Stoudemire was supposed to do (but often shied away from doing). He’ll certainly get the minutes to do all that bumpin’ and grinding (eww), but if I may pull on the reigns a bit, his back hasn’t been proven to be a thing of the past yet. Don’t pass up good backs for bad backs. Or baby backs. Or greenbacks. But if Sideshow Rob is still available in the last third of your draft – pounce.

It’ll be the Lopez Show at times for the Suns, which might cause some immigration problems down in Phoenix, but none for your team. 32 mpg / .570 / .720 / 0.0 / 15.1 pts / 8.0 rbd / 0.6 ast / 0.5 stl / 1.8 blk / 2.0 tov

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Photo courtesy of Yahoo! Sports via Getty Images

Tiago Splitter

Unless you spell it “Dunkin.”

What I’m saying is, I don’t really need to run down Splitter’s splits in the Spanish league. You know he’s that league’s reigning MVP and his name is Tiago Splitter.

Okay, perhaps it wouldn’t hurt to know that the guy San Antonio has been trying to bring over here for three years is here and will jump right into his rookie year in the NBA either playing alongside Duncan at PF or backing him up with DeJuan Blair filling the four. People felt Blair was a nice late pick last year, but feared his knees wouldn’t hold up to a full NBA season (he played all 82 games). Splitter comes with more promise and fewer concerns than DeJuan. Considering Splitter’s polished game (aside from an overly physical tendency that might land him in foul trouble) and Duncan’s minutes steadily declining in each of his last five seasons, this guy is primed for a surprising season that should come out of nowhere for a lot of fantasy owners. Don’t be one of ‘em. Remember the name: Tiago Splitter.  25.3 mpg / .515 / .770 / 0.0 3ptm / 11.1 pts / 6.6 rbd/ 1.6 ast / 0.9 stl / 0.7 blk / 1.6 tov

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Photo courtesy of Yahoo! Sports via the AP

The 20 ppg player will net your team 1,300 points by the end of the season. The 17 ppg player will net you 1,360. While I wouldn’t base my entire draft around guys who make it into the game all 82 games a season, it’s worth noting, especially if those players play more than 24 minutes each time out. I selected any player that averaged more than 24 mpg in each of the last three seasons and played in at least 80 games twice during that time.

There were 12 players who played in at least 80 games in each of the last three seasons:

Andre Miller If he was drafted at all last season, he was drafted to be the third-string PG on most fantasy teams (most fantasy teams with a chance of winning anyway), sometime after round 10. Kevin Martin was taken with the 20-30th picks of most drafts. Between those two players, which player scored, stole, rebounded, assisted and blocked more than the other? Yup. It should also be mentioned that Miller’s total stats were in the ballpark of Chris Paul at season’s end too. When a guy misses only five games in 11 seasons, never having played fewer than 80, he doesn’t need to be the best guy out there in order to produce as much as the best guys out there.

Derek Fisher Fisher’s age made me surprised how reliable he’s been. He hasn’t missed a game in five seasons, though there were a few times there I’m pretty sure Phil Jackson threw some sunglasses on the unconscious body of an elderly Fisher and Weekend At Bernie-d him during a game or two to keep Jordan Farmar from playing more than 30 minutes.

Andre Iguodala If you go back even farther than three years you’d see he started the first two seasons playing 82 games in each. Then he missed six games in 2006-07 and was dead to Philadelphians everywhere.

Samuel Dalembert Dalembert hasn’t missed a game in four seasons, which is made even more impressive considering he spent the first two months of 2010 traveling to his native Haiti to assist with disaster relief on his off days.

Emeka Okafor After missing 28 percent of his first three seasons, it still feels like Big Mek is oft-injured. What’s a guy gotta do to off that reputation? Or oft that reputation?

The next tier belong to sophomores who have not yet missed a pro game, but have only been in the league two seasons:

The third tier belongs to the remaining six players who have played in 80 games in two of their last three seasons while making it to at least 70 games in the third season. All of the players on these three lists averaged at least 24 minutes per game in each season.

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Ever since the epic exodus of Zydrunas Ilgauskas from the Cavaliers, it’s been almost entirely forgotten that Cleveland still has a few players remaining on its roster. And because Big Z is no longer on the team averaging tons of points and tons of minutes, the good news for fantasy owners is that the leftovers are all likely to produce more. We might never have had a Steve Young if Joe Montana hadn’t missed the entire ’91 season. We might never have had Harrison Ford if Kurt Russell had been cast as Han Solo. And we might never get to see J.J. Hickson‘s 15/7 season if Ilgauskas hadn’t singularly broken the hearts of Ohioans (Ohioates? Ohiomans? Ohiomies?) by moving to Miami. What a bastard. Seriously, have you talked to a Cavs fan lately? They’re so mishugenuh about losing Z that everytime I’ve mentioned to one of them how hard it must be root for a Ilgauskas-less Cavs team, they look at me as if I’m both stupid and missing some larger picture that I’m sure I’m not missing.

Double-J improved steadily, if not loudly, in his sophomore season, starting 73 of the 81 games he played. And while he only played 21 minutes and fought for his touches while on the floor (earning only an 18.9 USG% last season), he was a defensive force and an offensive weapon when given the chance. A guy who can navigate through Shaquille O’Neal, Z, Anderson Varejao and the addition of Antawn Jamison 2/3 of the way through the season while generally improving is a guy set to break out with far fewer obstacles in his way the following season. New coach Byron Scott has already hinted at bringing Jamison off the bench and Juicy-Juice’s 24/7 summer league averages aren’t doing anything to make him re-think this stance. Even if Jamison does start and Hickson is the first off the bench, he’ll own that Sixth Man role and he’ll have center eligibility to go with it. Watch him make Cleveland forget all about … Zydrunas Ilgauskas. 30.3 min / .624 / .691 / 0.0 3pt / 14.6 pts / 7.2 rbd / 1.3 ast / 0.8 stl / 0.8 blk / 1.5 tov

Prokhorov was going to change the Nets. He was going to bring LeBron aboard (strike one), along with another big free agent (strike two, unless Jordan Farmar is considered big – which he is not) and he was going to create a playoff-worthy team in 2011 that would win a championship by 2015 (probably strike three). And he made Nets fans confident that it would happen. Then it didn’t and what is happening in New Jersey makes the back of my eyeballs hurt.

Anthony Morrow as your team’s biggest acquisition will do that to eyeballs. This isn’t to say Anthony Morrow isn’t a good acquisition – he is. It is. They both is. Whatever. Bone Morrow is capable of giving fantasy owners 15 points and 2-3 treys a night. But he won’t. Not this year. Not this team. Not playing the 27-30 minutes a game he’ll manage to steal from sophomore Terrence Williams and third-year Courtney Lee. Morrow has the highest upside of this trio. Williams is the most likely to develop more of a small forward’s game and Lee is the best defender. But anything Lee can do Morrow can do better is the tune I’d sing if Annie got her gun, stuck it to my head and told me sing her a story.

You’re all into musical theater, right?

There’s worth here. And there. And right there. No, not there. That’s Johan Petro. Behind him. There. But come draft day, I’d wait to grab Lee three or four rounds later than when it feels right or not at all until the picture becomes clearer in Mudville. 31 mpg / .440 / .855 / 0.9 3pt / 11.5 pts / 2.8 rbd / 2.2 ast / 1.0 stl / 0.4 blk / 2.0 tov

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Two games into summer league trials, he’s averaging 16.5 points and 11 reebs. He averaged 15/10 at Kentucky and he only played 24 minutes per game to do it. That’s a per36 of 22.5/15.  And, hey, we’re nine days into the summer league and he hasn’t done anything nuts yet. And even if he does, there’s no reason to think it’ll stop him from being a productive player. He doesn’t just have to have a bad attitude, it has to be bad enough to stop him from playing. Fantasy hoops is all about little bets, well-considered guesses.

My guess is, Cousins will be a must-draft come October. Here’s why: 33 mpg / .540 / .645 / 0.0 3pt / 21.2 pts / 11.9 rbd / 0.9 ast / 1.1 stl / 1.8 blk / 2.7 tov

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Photo courtesy of Flickr

Marcus Thornton, NO Out for the final three summer league games after bruising his left shin against the Heat on Sunday. Considering the Heat have one guy under contract, you’d think Thornton would have been able to avoid running into him. That’s like two cars colliding in the middle of the desert. This injury doesn’t seem to be too serious. I’d say about as serious as the summer league itself. It’s like a handful of fraternity fellas who try and throw a wine and cheese party for a change. They set it up, invite their friends, wear ties, but as soon as someone changes the “Wine and Cheese Party” playlist to the “I’m on a Boat, MOFo” playlist, the ties come off and everybody’s playing Flip Cup with Franzia.

Darren Collison, NO And speaking of collisions, if you type that word real fast, you’ll probably misspell it as “collison,” which, although incorrect, can come in handy as a segue to discuss Darren Collison news. Ready? Let’s try it. Darren Collison will also miss the remainder of summer league so he can take classes at UCLA and finish up his bachelor’s degree.

John Wall, WAS Scored 18 points to go with 10 assists and five steals in his second summer league game. He also hasn’t missed a free throw in an NBA uniform (19-for-19) … yet. You see what I did there? I went and got pessimistic for no reason.

Zydrunas Ilgauskas, MIA I believe “salt in the wound” directly translates to “Going to Miami” in Lithuanian.

Jordan Farmar, NJ Backing up Devin Harris instead of Derek Fisher. What’s the difference? Staring at Snookie instead of Dyan Cannon whilst sitting on the bench. Meh. It’s like comparing apples and orange-colored people.

Hedo Turkoglu, PHO Will take his slightly above-average scoring skills Phoenix, where his success – like the success of a puppy being trained to pee in the yard – will be measured solely on how he does outside. He’s not a spot-shooter, but the Suns are going to need him to be. They’ll at least need Turk to not hold the ball for 15 seconds looking to create a shot. Phoenix probably has a better chance of training him to pee in public.

Quentin Richardson, ORL Q is hopping Florida teams in an effort to replace J.J. Redick’s spot-shooting along with Matt Barnes’ size and rotation off the bench. If the Magic don’t actually end up ridding themselves of Redick or Barnes, look for a broom handle to be snapped in half and tossed into an empty room along with all three men, where they’ll stay until one of them is dead.

DeMarcus Cousins, SAC 14/10 Double-double in his first summer league game. Me and my cousins and you and your Cousins/ I can feel it comin’.

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“We’re not really sure how Stephen will fit into our organization,” Miami’s assistant director of player personnel Dickie Montero said on Sunday. “He’s all I keep hearing about over in the MLB and on that basis alone, he seemed to be someone that we are supposed to want on the team.”

The Nationals, who have seen unprecedented growth in popularity in the last two months since Strasburg’s arrival in the league admitted that, while their former star was wonderful for business, he just didn’t fit into the “expected Nationals tradition” adding that the Miami Heat seemed a more appropriate destination for players that “people care about.”

“It’s not unheard of for us to be a popular underdog in April,” Nationals spokesman James Dumpheys said. “But usually by May we’ve reminded all our fans why they hate rooting for us and we go right back to hosting 1,100 hipsters each night who find our team ironic. Strasburg threw our pattern of crippling crappiness out of whack and we had to retool a few things. We think three second-round basketball players in the next few years should bring us back to our tradition of freakish awfulness.”

At the press conference held yesterday, in which Strasburg was introduced alongside the newly acquired “Three Amigos of Miami”: Dwyane Wade, Chris Bosh and LeBron James, the fireballer looked dumbfounded and more than a little pissed.

“When they said Miami, I thought they meant the Marlins and I was kind of excited. Then I found out they meant the Heat and now I mostly just want to slap somebody.”

Strasburg added,”I mean, the Heat? Really!? Michael Jordan whomped their ass for a decade and they decide to retire his number for it? That’s weak, bro. These bitches just better stay out of my way.”

Strasburg says he’ll spend the remainder of the summer (which has suddenly become his offseason) perfecting his 100 mph bounce passes to LeBron James’ face.

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When Chris Bosh began waxing Dwyane Wade’s Cadillac and it became apparent that “the man” in Toronto was willing to settle for being “a man” in Miami, the horrifying thought that a super team was a-brewing grabbed my synapses and refused to let go until 9:26 pm EST when LeBron completed the unholy trinity. I shouldn’t have been surprised. It’s not like I’ve ever thought much of the guy.

I have no doubt I’ll be spending the better part of the summer and autumn articulating why this is awful for the league as a whole, so I won’t waste my word count doing it here. Instead, I’m going to waste my word count extolling on why LeBron James could have become an American hero on Thursday night and instead, chose to become the NBA’s most reviled player.

Think Minnesota Favre. Think Toronto Clemens. Think pin-up Kournikova.

Gambling addicts never see their winnings the same way casual gamblers do. When casual gamblers win $100 bucks at a table, they see it as $100 more than they had when they started. When gambling addicts win $100, they don’t think of it as winning $100. They think of how much they could have won if only they’d bet more. Psychologically, they feel as if they lost. The stakes are higher; winning is impossible. So was LeBron James’ decision as a free agent. He’s a sucker if he stayed in Cleveland, a fool if he went to New Jersey or L.A., a side-stepper if he went to Chicago, a cliché if he went to New York and a punkass coward if he went to Miami.

Punkass coward it is.Mark it eight, Smokey.

I won’t refute this claim. I might rephrase it so that LeBron James is more a phoney and a fool, but I won’t eat your lunch for calling him a punkass or a coward.

Because like those gambling addicts, LeBron James didn’t win by earning advertising revenue for the Boys and Girls Club of America, he lost by hosting this B.S. in the first place. When the media makes a spectacle- they’re doing their job. When he makes a spectacle, he’s being a douche. He wants the Boys and Girls Club of America to reap hundreds of thousands of dollars? Why doesn’t LeBron James just give it to them then? I’ve been hearing rumors that he’s come into a bit of money lately.

Speaking of which, Bron Bron – don’t tout your nobility for choosing wins over a payday when there’s a deal in the works to force Michael Beasley out of a job so that the Heat can afford your max-salary along with your two new best bros. James didn’t take a pay cut, he’s just earning the money differently than he might have with Cleveland.

Had LeBron James gone on national television to announce that he was staying with the Cleveland Cavaliers to finish what he’s started with them for seven years, he would have been seen as a hero – a friend to the everyman. At the very least, he wouldn’t have been seen like this – a turncoat and a chump who just gave up the chase toward Michael Jordan’s legacy. He went on national television to announce thet he was ditching the Cavs. Screw ‘em. Screw the dancing and commraderie. Screw his home and the fans that love him. Screw the one place that treated him like more than a commodity. Basketball, James reminded us several times in his self-imposed television special, is a business.

Interesting then, that he didn’t take the job that offered him the most money. By that fact alone, it seems as if more than just business played a part in this decision, a fact that Clevelanders from all walks should ponder hard while burning their old No.23 jerseys.

He went on television with the intention of announcing where he was going, but revealed instead, what he was okay with leaving behind. He wasn’t winning a few Heat teammates, he was losing a fanbase.

LeBron really wanted us to believe he’s a good guy in all this. Calling a massive media event, but giving the proceeds to charity. Completing a disgusting super team, but doing it with wins in mind instead of money. Very few will see it that way.  James will make as much as he would have with most others teams, but no other team could have supported three of the league’s top 10 players. In the end, James could have donated money to a dozen of his favorite charities without shamlessly calling attention to the fact that he was doing so if that was what was ultimately most important to him.

And that’s why 9:26 pm EST on Thursday July 8, 2010 will mark the moment James’s role in the sports world changed. This is George Lucas’ Episode One. This is Alex Rodriguez signing with the Rangers. This is David Caruso leaving “NYPD Blue.”

The world held its breath waiting for LeBron James to make a decision.

He did.

Now watch the world turn.

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