Lance Berkman Schadenfreudes All Over Brian Cushing

Houston’s 2009 Defensive Rookie of the Year Brian Cushing was suspended late last week for violating the league’s performance-enhancing drug policy and will miss the upcoming season’s first four games.

Fellow Texas-based athlete, Lance Berkman, took this opportunity to point out the chasm between how baseball players are treated as compared to football players.

Picture This: No One Told Ethier They Weren’t Growing Playoff Hair

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Sometimes the hardest part of losing the playoff is saying goodbye. Cleaning out the ol’ locker, preparing to reconnect with the family after a long summer, steal a few keepsakes from the clubhouse, take one last canoe ride around the lake, try to sneak one last kiss from camp counselor Jenna.

I’ve never noticed until just now how similar ending a season was to the finals days of summer camp.

I guess that explains why Manny Ramirez’s last encounter with Andre Ethier Thursday afternoon brought a nostalgic tear to my eye.

Forbes’ Most Disliked Sports Figures: Let’s Agree To Disagree

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Last week, Forbes Magazine, through E-Poll surveys, polled its readers and compiled a top 10 list of the most disliked people in sports. I was confused at first why it was Forbes and not, say, Sports Illustrated executing such a poll. I mean, these are sports figures we’re talking about, isn’t ESPN’s magazine better equipped? Forbes may not be the foremost expert on sports, but flip through any issue of their magazine or click on any page of their web site … dudes know a lot about hateable personalities.

Prince Fielder’s Thinkin’ Machine Is A Little Slow

Brewers Dodgers BaseballL.A.’s Guillermo Mota tenderized the thick leg of Milwaukee’s Prince Fielder Tuesday night. It was retaliation from two innings before when Chris Smith did the same to L.A.’s Manny Ramirez. This is the job, it’s all part of baseball. Especially for Mota, who’s plunked former Met Mike Piazza enough times to write a dissertation on the different sounds the ball makes when it hits different parts of his body.

Stockholm Syndrome Case Studies: Jose Canseco

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Remember when Patty Hearst was kidnapped by the Symbionese Liberation Army in January 1974 and eventually helped the terrorist organization rob the Hibernia Bank several months later? Or when Sal “Big Pussy” Bonpensiero avoided doing jail time by aggressively and enthusiastically informing the FBI of the activities of the Soprano organization? Clinton pardoned one and Paulie Walnuts helped whack the other.

Jose Canseco falls somewhere in the middle.

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