I thought about musician John Mayer all weekend. I really did. I didn’t want to, but I couldn’t help it. I was as helpless from trying to figure out why Mayer opts to be an idiot as I suppose Mayer is from making that stupid guitar solo face he makes. Yeah, that one.
How do you prefer your Band-Aid removed? With a quick, painful jerk that uproots body hair along with it? The kind that provides an agony that is much worse in the seconds leading up to the removal than the removal itself? Or do you prefer the cautious, calculated removal that distributes pain in measured doses for an elongated period of time? Because I assure you America, you’re gonna have to suffer through one.
As first reported and orchestrated by ESPN, the Washington Nationals have agreed in principle to send rookie phenom Stephen Strasburg to the Miami Heat in an unprecedented swap that will send three future second round NBA draft picks to the MLB franchise. Although details of the agreement have not been finalized, Heat officials have said they plan to start the 6’2″ pitcher at PG and figure out how the hell to incorporate his pitching skills “sometime later this season.”
I have no doubt I’ll be spending the better part of the summer and autumn articulating why this is awful for the league as a whole, so I won’t waste my word count doing it here. Instead, I’m going to waste my word count extolling on why LeBron James could have become an American hero on Thursday night and instead, chose to become the NBA’s most reviled player.

Here’s a recap of the weirdest or most overlooked sports stories on the Interweb this week. Plus, as you’ve come to expect, “Charm” isn’t a word I’d ever associate with the Lingerie Football League.