Juan Rivera Is Scared Of Grass Stains, Yankees
Juan Rivera, that was a catchable ball. You? You could’ve caught that. Catching that ball to stop the Red Sox from winning on Wednesday was within your grasp … literally.
Red Sox Owner Fires V.P., Replaces Her With Young Newlywed
Trophy brides are getting more sophisticated, which is a scary development if you think about it. I blame all those “Real Housewives” TV programs for showing normal succubi how to maximize their potential. No longer are they content to score the ring and dally about their inherited mansions and villas, spending money they didn’t earn. No, now they’re demanding their own money and their own means of earning it. Those means are where the sophistication lie. Take Red Sox owner John Henry, 59, and his newlywed wife Linda Pizzuti, 30, for example.
Hey Tito, Go Ahead And Put That Anywhere
You gotta figure Red Sox skipper Terry Francona was jealous that Kevin Youkilis got to vent some frustration in Tuesday’s brawl and he didn’t. I mean, what was Tito going to do? Poke Jim Leyland in the eye? Leyland is, like, 90-something years old and I’m still not sure Francona would come away unscathed. It’s a no-win situation, like arm-wrestling a girl.
Week Sauce: Where Thirst-Quenching Art Is the Best Of All Arts
Here’s a recap of the weirdest or most overlooked sports stories on the Interweb this week. Plus, as you’ve come to expect, the first Electrolyte Brite.
Nomar’s Return: Are Sawx Fans Getting Sawft?
Boston baseball fans will tell you they have a sixth sense about their brethren. They’ll tell you they have inside information of their beloved team and the players connected to it that is otherwise unavailable to those foreign to Red Sox Nation. They’ll tell you they patiently waited out David Ortiz‘s horrific spring slump without boos or jeers because they knew – they just knew – Papi would turn it around. Without telling you that they know more than you, Sawx fans will tell you they know more than you.
