Sidelines Sports Blog from SportScape http://blog.sportscape.tv Opinion after the dust settles Thu, 26 Aug 2010 15:58:48 +0000 http://backend.userland.com/rss092 en Pig Wrasslin’ Is Hard Without Pigs I'm not sure what town would be considered the pig capitol of the U.S. and seeing as how there's a "Falcon Crest" marathon fixin' to start in a couple minutes, I don't have the time to find out. I will say that Chouteau County in Montana made a huge push last weekend at the area's County Fair when 30 pigs slated to be entered into the pig wrasslin' competition pulled a Claude Rains and vanished.]]> http://blog.sportscape.tv/2010/08/26/pig-wrasslin-is-hard-without-pigs/ There Are More Holes In Chelsea’s Game Than Anyone Could Have Anticipated The Chelsea Blue have been under siege by a prankster sneaking into the team’s locker rooms and cutting holes in their underwear, thus leading the entire squad to explore an entirely new form of “futbol flopping” never before showcased on a pitch. They’re showing going nuts.
There’s also a ton of “ball control” and “sliding tackle” jokes that I’ll spare you. You’re welcome.
]]> http://blog.sportscape.tv/2010/08/25/there-are-more-holes-in-chelseas-game-than-anyone-could-have-anticipated/ I Would Have Pegged Elton John More Of A Footie Fan Wow, guys. Did you see this picture of Sir Elton John at the Reds game? How cool is that? Who knew?]]> http://blog.sportscape.tv/2010/08/24/i-would-have-pegged-elton-john-more-of-a-footie-fan/ Yup, John Mayer Is Still A Tool I thought about musician John Mayer all weekend. I really did. I didn't want to, but I couldn't help it. I was as helpless from trying to figure out why Mayer opts to be an idiot as I suppose Mayer is from making that stupid guitar solo face he makes. Yeah, that one.]]> http://blog.sportscape.tv/2010/08/23/yup-john-mayer-is-still-a-tool/ 15,000 Fans Gather To Stare At Tony Parker’s Girlfriend What I simply can't abide is that all these dudes were aware that Tony Parker smeared his churro on Eva's seat and none of those bastards said anything.]]> http://blog.sportscape.tv/2010/08/20/15000-fans-gather-to-stare-at-tony-parkers-girlfriend/ The Battle That ‘Woonded’ Yee Anyone could have anticipated the legendary women's baseball rivalry between Hong Kong and Netherlands to come to a fiery head in the World Cup held in Venezuela this weekend. What most could not have anticipated was a) that that fire would come hurtling out of a gun and b) how awkward it is to call a female playing the third base position anything other than the third baseman. It's, like, extremely awkward.]]> http://blog.sportscape.tv/2010/08/17/hong-kong-3b-woon-yee-catches-bullet-forever-nicknamed-wounded-knee/ Marlins Fanbase (2) Outnumbers Marlins Clutch Hits (0) In Weekend Series You know this picture is old. Like, at least four days old. How do you know? Because it depicts one of the Marlins successfully scoring after being in the position to do so. And that ... well that just hasn't happened in some time.]]> http://blog.sportscape.tv/2010/08/16/marlins-fanbase-2-outnumbers-marlins-clutch-hits-0-in-weekend-series/ More Ugly Than Usual In Cincinnati I know living in Cincinnati isn't fun. Nick Lachey is the city's biggest celebrity, for Godssake. Living in Queen City is libel to make anyone cranky. But crikey Cincinnati Reds, what's gotten into you?]]> http://blog.sportscape.tv/2010/08/11/more-ugly-than-usual-in-cincinnati/ Sauna Championships, Competitor Both Meet Their Sweaty, Sweaty End There are some amazing things going on in Finland, you guys. The low crime rate, the country's robust potatoes. Not to mention the Finnish vodkas. But nothing tops Finland's annual World Sauna Championships (or "Saun-a-thon 2010" as I've been calling it around the office).
I'll skip to the twist ending and tell you that the Championship concludes with the two finalists being taken to the hospital and only one coming out alive. Now I'll Kurosawa my way back to the middle of the story and explain why this doesn't make the WSC any less legitimate a sport.
]]> http://blog.sportscape.tv/2010/08/10/sauna-championships-competitor-both-meet-their-sweaty-sweaty-end/ Norwich City Beetles Trying To Pollinate Everywhere
England's Norwich City changed their uniforms after last season, giving the Canaries a brighter, more vibrant "Brazilian" flair. Fortunately for Brazil, they don't have millions of beetles looking to feed on pollen, or anything that looks like it might be pollen.
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