Weightlifter Tries To Squat 1,008 lbs; Projectile Vomits, Passes Out
Far be it from me to laugh at the unfortunate … actually, it’s not that far. It’s right here next to me, making me laugh over and over.
No reason to bore you with details. You know what happens. Still though, you knew what happened in Two Girls-One Cup and you watched that anyway, you sicko.
This Seems Like Something A Texan Would Do
When I was a teen, I was a big enough Cubs fan that I shaved the team logo into the back of my head. I dunno why, but it seemed hardcore at the time. Hardcore enough that no one would ever dare confuse me with a) someone who was indifferent to the Cubs and b) someone whose mother was proud of him.
As disappointed as my mom might have been, it could have been worse. Here’s exhibit A.
Who’s Ready To See This Man Naked?
I won’t bury the lede on this one. Soccer legend and Argentina coach Diego Maradona has publicly promised to run naked through the center of Buenos Aires if his team wins the World Cup.
And if you’ve ever seen attractive Argentians get naked (and who hasn’t?) you should know just how horrifying this promise is.
Paris’ Plan To Curb In-Stadium Violence Will Likely Create Outside-Stadium Violence
Fans of the Paris St. Germaine soccer team are like incorrigible children: Sometimes sending them to their room without dinner and taking away their videogames just isn’t enough. Sometimes, they continue misbehaving, or, in the case of the PSG fans, continue killing people.
Former NASCAR Driver Applies Trade To Real-Life Scenario
I first assumed this washed up NASCAR racer was one of the guys in BoDeans. Maybe Malcolm McDowell. Either way, I wondered why his mugshot looked the way the sad trombone sounds.
The reason?
He turned a simple traffic stop for missing his front license plate into a 140 mph chase that lasted over 50 miles.
