I Don’t Think Marketing Means What Penn’s Marketing Team Thinks It Means

Penn State instituted a tradition in which 107,000 fans all agreed to show up at Beaver Stadium for one highly anticipated game each season clad top-to-tail in white. All white. Then they called the place the White House because Penn’s marketing people are paid to be clever like that. At least that’s what I assume they’re supposed to do. I don’t think we see eye-to-eye on it.

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Favre Does What LeBron Did Only Slower … And For Years At A Time

How do you prefer your Band-Aid removed? With a quick, painful jerk that uproots body hair along with it? The kind that provides an agony that is much worse in the seconds leading up to the removal than the removal itself? Or do you prefer the cautious, calculated removal that distributes pain in measured doses for an elongated period of time? Because I assure you America, you’re gonna have to suffer through one.

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The Cajones On This Bears Fan Are Almost As Big As His Bratwurst-Gut

What I like most about the daring-do of this Bears fan in a strange land is that there are probably thousands of Packers fans who saw this license plate and immediately slapped themselves in the forehead for not thinking of getting an “OPACKRS” plate for their Hundai.

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Lance Berkman Schadenfreudes All Over Brian Cushing

Houston’s 2009 Defensive Rookie of the Year Brian Cushing was suspended late last week for violating the league’s performance-enhancing drug policy and will miss the upcoming season’s first four games.

Fellow Texas-based athlete, Lance Berkman, took this opportunity to point out the chasm between how baseball players are treated as compared to football players.

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O.J. Finally Gets One Of His Suits Dismissed [UPDATE]

Last week, America’s repository of historical artifacts denied acceptance into its collection the suit that O.J. Simpson, the 18th-ranked all-time career rusher and two-time murderer, wore in court on the day he was acquitted (of the murders, not the rushing yards – I’m not sure how one would be acquitted of that. Then again, I’m still not sure how he got acquitted of killing two people, so let’s call it a draw).

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