Don’t you just want to caption these shots with Three Stooges sound effects?

Nyuk-Nyuk-Nyuk. Whoop-whoop-whoop!

Saturday’s fight went down (and out) like this: Overmatched fighter (Puerto Rican welterweight Kermit Cintron) flails hard for three-and-a-half rounds, lands a lucky punch, surprises everyone including himself, trips, falls out of the ring, gets carted away like Stiller after zipping his beans above his frank and loses.

The winner in this kerfuffle, Paul Williams (39-1, 27 KOs), was named the technical victor because, well, technically he was the only one not strapped to a stretcher wearing a neck brace at the fight’s conclusion. And also, because he had a point lead after three-plus rounds.

Williams connected with another punch and tried to clinch, but slipped and fell to the canvas. Leaning forward and off balance, Cintron (32-3-1) tripped over Williams’ left leg and went headfirst through the ropes, hitting a monitor and a table with his head.

Cintron stayed down on his side for several minutes, but the fighter eventually said he felt fine to keep going. The ringside doctor wouldn’t allow it, and Cintron was taken away from the Home Depot Center in an ambulance.

Williams was awarded [the] victory by split decision because he led on two of the three judges’ scorecards. California rules require a decision if a fight ends by injury after the fourth round begins.

The most apt comment on the fight came from Williams:

“I wanted to hurt him with a punch, not by him falling out of the ring.”

A freak accident seemed about the only way either men were going to get hurt. Never mind the general gracelessness of two athletes falling over one another like drunk sailors riding a choppy sea – even before that, the fight was a mess. Many of the fans in attendance booed the lethargic fighters in the third and even second rounds of the inactive fight. As if the fighters edges weren’t dulled enough, (neither fighter landed more than 23 percent of their punches), what about the three judges who were seemingly watching different fights?

Judge Jen Kin scored it 40-36 for Williams, while Fritz Werner favored Williams 39-37. Jerry Cantu saw a completely different fight, scoring it 40-36 for Cintron.

Cintron? What can be said? He pooped the bed on this one. And Williams? Well, he’s been having trouble getting quality fighters to box him, maybe this burp will work in his favor. Heck, maybe it’s why he started (and, I guess, ended) the fight so cautiously. It’s like Pesci said in “Raging Bull,” If you win, you win. If you lose, you still win.

Unless you watched Saturday’s bout in hopes of seeing solid fighting – then you just lose.

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Photos courtesy of Manuel Perez / Hoganphotos.com

Arizona passed an immigration-enforcement law last week making it justifiable for police to stop and demand documentation from anyone they suspect of being an alien “if reasonable suspicion exists” that they are in the state illegally. Already Senate Bill 1070 is considered in many parts of the country a wholly bigoted enactment, of which many throughout the nation have taken to protesting. The rationality behind some of the protests, however, remains suspect.

On Thursday, the Arizona Diamondbacks were in Chicago to play the Cubs. Not coincidentally, a pack of protesters picketing against Bill 1070 were stationed outside Wrigley Field.

… Because Justin Upton helped convince the senate to pass the bill? No? Well, then why the protesters in front of the Friendly Confines?

“The team is an ambassador for Arizona,” Tony Herrera, representative of ‘Boycott Arizona 2010’ said. “And the owner, Mr. (Ken) Kendrick, is a big supporter of Republican politics. This new law was a Republican bill. Until the law is changed, there should be protests.”

There should be protests. Next up should be the one where no one watches the movie “Psycho,” because it was shot in Phoenix and stars Arizona native Anthony Perkins. After that, the nation should turn its back on Jimmy Eat World and the Gin Blossoms, bands both born in the A-Z. What’s that? The nation has already stopped paying attention to them? Well … good.

As far as I can tell Jamie O’Neal’s “There Is No Arizona” is still perfectly acceptable to listen to.

Boycotting anything simply because it is connected to an entire state is a ludicrously misdirected attempt at forcing a repeal. (SIDE NOTE: Can we not agree that if the citizens were to start boycotting everything produced by a state simply because of what goes on in it, hat we’d start with Indiana?) The reasons, in this case, for the protest are also as misdirected in its facts as it is in its philosophy. According to the D-backs’ vice president of communications, Shaun Rachau, Kendrick has publicly opposed Senate Bill 1070 and is one of nearly 75 owners anyway, many of whom have not contributed a penny to the Republican Party.

“The D-backs have never supported (Senate) Bill 1070,” Rachau said, “nor has the team ever taken a political stance or position on any legislation.”

The undertones of bigotry and support of racial profiling enacted in this bill have forced Arizona and many of its public representatives, like the Diamondbacks, into a situation of which they were unprepared and certainly undeserving. Yet that hasn’t stopped citizens like Herrera from demanding satisfaction from such public organizations.

“The fact that Kendrick has supported the Republican agenda is significant to us,” he said. “We’re getting a lot of response from across the country. We’re asking for a meeting (with the team) on May 7 with people who are flying in from across the country. We want to talk to the team, but, you know, they do represent Arizona.”

What are these people jet-setting from around the country planning on asking the team, exactly? I’d love to meet Dan Haren, but not to discuss an immigration law of which he wasn’t a part. This kind of thinking is baffling. Yes, the Diamondbacks are a well-known Arizona-based organization. Yes, part of the team’s ownership has contributed to the Republican party (it’s a moderate red state, don’t forget), but leave ‘em alone. The reality of the situation is that none of the team’s players or staff have any more to do with this situation than private citizens. Yes, I’m sure Juan Guitierrez and Gerardo Parro have opinions on the matter, but what else can they give you? And why is picketing outside Wrigley or Citi or Coors Fields going to stop profiling in the American Southwest?

Americans are finally compelled to action and this is how they express themselves? By boycotting a team on a national level because it falls within the state’s 114,000 square mile territory?

Rep. Jose Serrano (D-NY) has the right idea. Don’t punish things connected to the state, remove things connected to the state. He’s already delivered a letter to MLB Commissioner Bud Selig requesting he move the 2011 All-Star Game out of Phoenix.

“MLB has a very loud megaphone,” Serrano said in a statement earlier this week, “and their rejection of Arizona’s action would be an important demonstration to Arizona that we do not tolerate such displays of intolerance in our nation.”

In a similar vein, the World Boxing Council said it will not schedule future bouts featuring Mexican fighters in Arizona. The organization has already gone so far as to have the ban approved by the Federation of Boxing Commissions of Mexico. It will be enacted May 1.

Taking action is a wonderful option empowered to the American public, but there are effective ways to do it and illogically inept ways to do it. Write your local government. Heck, write Arizona’s government. Initiate your time in any of the hundreds of civil rights groups protesting 1070. But c’mon Goofuses, let the players play.

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Top photo courtesy of Yahoo! Sports via the AP

By Sunday, most MMA outlets were awash in outrage over Silva’s behavior, none moreso than UFC president Dana White, who called the main event a “disgrace,” “an embarrassment” adding too that he was “disgusted.”

But let’s pull back the gossamer curtain of immediacy and examine why many feel this way. And because I’ve never been good with keeping secrets, I should warn you that I’m planning on defending Silva in these next 1,000 words.

The 26-4 Brazilian has had a recent history of not giving the fans the type of fight that they paid for – namely, one that quickly moves to the ground and stays there. Instead, Silva’s style is to dominate from his feet – which is what happened for the most part Saturday. Silva showboated (to put it kindly) and taunted (to put it less kindly) his opponent Demian Maia early in the battle. Hands on his hips, standing without using much defense; take a look at the photo up top. It looked exactly like that, only without the threat of Riverdance breaking out. Kid stuff. Disrespectful stuff. Stuff that, frankly, made the fight boring.

And this has been the case for Silva’s last few bouts. He’s that good. He’ll tease ya. Then he’ll bleed ya. And then he’ll calmly leave the ring amid a bluster of witnesses furious that he didn’t sweat more, try harder, move quicker.

That’s “the reason” for the animosity toward Silva, but is it The Reason? No. The reason to be upset is that no one recently has forced Silva to sweat more, try harder, move quicker. Watching Silva fight in the last 24 months is like watching a Corvette idle down a driveway. Don’t blame the Corvette, blame the driver, or the neighborhood, or the laws that dictate a Corvette can’t drive 90 mph in a school zone. In short: give Silva someone to fight.

Would anyone have suddenly felt they got their money’s worth out of a 90 second fight in which Silva kicked Maia in the throat three times and called it a day? Not only would you not have gotten your money’s worth, but you wouldn’t have had anything to talk about on Monday.

In a sport still in the spring of its development, the fans remain the dictators of what “good MMA” is. Silva really is one of the three best pound-for-pound fighters in the entire sport, but he’s boring. And he’s cocky about his boringness. And he refuses to acknowledge his cockiness and / or his boringness.

But White didn’t fail to acknowledge it:

“Believe me, I’ll answer the questions of what a disgrace the main event was,” said White at the post-fight presser. “To end it the way that we did was an embarrassment for me, the UFC, the Fertittas and the UAE. If you’re that talented, be Mike Tyson. Go in there and finish. I’m so blown away and disgusted and saddened.”

…He forgot to mention greedy. Because this is where White’s anger stems from – future revenue. See, the Cleveland Cavaliers don’t have to worry about sitting LeBron James for three consecutive games, as they have this past week, because those tickets are already sold. And as long as people believe they’ll get to see James when they purchase the tickets, that’s all any of the money men care about. It’s why the D.C. Nationals waited until after the pre-season ticket sale to announce that No. 1 draft pick Stephen Strasbug would start the season in the minor leagues.

MMA doesn’t work that way. You’re only as good as your last fight and because fans equate “fast movement” to “excitement,” Silva is a dud as a fighter. At least UFC heavyweight Brock Lesnar, who painted himself with the same devil-may-care brush as Silva, has the decency to rely heavily on the ground game. He’s a real a knee-to-your-neck kinda fella. He’s the villain everyone wants to see. Silva? Skip ‘im.

I get it. I get why fans want the ground ‘n’ pound game. I get why promoters pop blood vessels at guys like Silva who stand around and pick their spots to strike. Promoting a strategic fighter is like promoting … well, like promoting a pitcher’s duel in baseball. Good luck.

But step back for a moment. Why blame Silva? This is his style. He’s a man who makes a living by winning as many fights as possible. Should Sabathia have grooved one down the middle in the seventh inning after his Yankees had the lead safely in hand on Saturday, just to spice things up a little? No. He’s paid millions of dollars to pitch as close to perfect baseball as he can. What about all the rest LeBron is getting? Shouldn’t he play insignificant games now and risk being injured, if for no other reason than for the sake of the fans who paid to see him? Nope.

And what about this blog article? It’s been nearly 700 words since you last saw a picture or anything visual. Should I just throw in something colorful to break up the monotony of all these words, even if it has nothing to do with Anderson Silva or mixed martial arts?

There. A kangaroo punching a photographer in the face. How was that? You gettin’ your money’s worth now?

Sports are about competition. At least professional sports. The beer league softball games I play in are mostly about the beer. You play to win the game. And in a larger sense, you play to continue winning the games. A tired or hurt LeBron James risks far more damage to the Cavs (and the NBA) down the line than leaving him in street clothes toward the end of the regular season; just as Anderson Silva adopting a ground game or even exerting himself more than is necessary is more harmful to his career (and I believe the UFC) than carrying on as he is.

MMA fans should demand only one thing from the fighters – that their intent it always to ensure victory.

Silva, more than most fighters, has a firm grip on exactly what to do to ensure victory and exactly how to do it. He even said immediately after the fight that he wanted to win, he won legitimately and he’s unconcerned about the rest of it – the way it should be.

“The way I feel,” Silva said, “my mission was completed, I came in and dominated the fight, I did what I had to do, That’s how I feel.”

White may be upset that Silva’s not an exciting fighter, but if he can’t spin this guy into a marketable villain for a future Georges St. Pierre fight than Dana White is not long for his position. And if he’s mad that one of his best fighters is boring, well then, match him with a fighter that doesn’t bore him.

Simple, no?

Until then, quit with the tears and vinegar about the classless Silva. He’s different. He’s interesting because he’s boring (I just blew your mind) and he’s good for the UFC.

Just wait until this sport supplies fans with only one type of fighter, playing the same note over and over, fight after fight.

You’ll drop it faster than Anderson Silva would have dropped Demian Maia if he weren’t so bored.

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Top photo courtesy of Yahoo! Sports via Tracy Lee

At any rate, most people know the legendary heavyweight champion and war hero Joe Louis as a product of Detroit, Michigan. The Detroit pro hockey arena is named after him as is the famous “arm and hammer” sculpture planted in the city’s downtown area since 1986.

The truth is, the Brown Bomber didn’t move to Michigan until he was 10. Before that, he was from LaFayette, Alabama; a city that now has a population of about 3,000 people.

On Saturday the citizens of Louis’ original hometown plan to unveil the $60,000 bronze statue in front of the Chambers County Courthouse.

It brings up a fine point, however. Which hometown has the best claim to Louis? Even the people of LaFayette acknowledge the dearth of people who realize Louis wasn’t born in Alabama and admit that this statue is a way to reclaim a part of him. But is it accurate to do so?

Michael Jordan gained notoriety in Chicago, grew up as a young man in North Carolina and was born in New York City. Elvis Presley was born in Tupelo, Mississippi but became famous in Memphis, Tennessee. Joe Louis hadn’t done anything noteworthy in LaFayette – except of course, begin the most impressionable years of his life there.

Here’s to hoping the fine people of LaFayette created another arm and fist sculpture so that it may be rammed into the one they got parked in Detroit. Then we’ll see who has the right to call Louis a hometown hero.

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Photo courtesy of Flickr

Cuban should have aimed lower than the Super Bowl; assuming you consider Yankee Stadium to be lower.

In an AP report from Tuesday, Jewish boxing champ (and soon-to-be-rabbi, a fact that will gain importance in about 10 seconds) Yuri Foreman is near an agreement to defend his welterweight title against Miguel Cotto at Yankee Stadium on June 5. But there’s a hold up. (there’s always a hold up).

Arum (right) and Foreman. No, not that Foreman. There's a different one.

“The Yankees want to make a deal, we know we can make a deal, they’re just working through a problem at Yankee Stadium,” fight promoter Bob Arum said. “But you wouldn’t believe it if I told you.”

The family renting out the stadium hasn’t been identified, but it’s safe to assume we’re not talking about a low-income bunch here. It’s not a far leap in logic to assume this family enjoys grand displays. Why not make the family part of the undercard?

At any rate, if nothing can be worked out at Yankee Stadium, Top Rank president Todd duBoef assured the public they have a back-up venue reserved for June 12. Pehaps you’re familiar with Madison Square Garden? Yeah. They occasionally host live events there.

Turns out, lounges in the House That Jeter Built has been partially rented out for a private bar mitzvah. Not only that, the center field scoreboard screen will be used for nearly 30 minutes to display this yingl’s boyhood pictures and mementos.

UPDATE: Jon Ballan, the lead bond lawyer for the financing of the $1.2 billion stadium, is the father of the boy celebrating his mitzvah. And it appears the Ballans have agreed to relinquish control of the center field screen. Fight on!

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Photos courtesy of Flickr

It was supposed to be the fight of the year. The fight of the decade. The previous decade. Not the one in which it will eventually take place. That decade will only be three months old by that point. At any rate, Manny Pacquiao versus Floyd Mayweather Jr. was supposed to be the fight that resurrected interest in the sport. Maybe even the fight that saves it. A fan favorite versus a brilliant AMERICAN boxer. Everyone wanted the fight. And the money men were going to make sure they gave it to us all while stuffing their pockets with as many burlap bags full of money as the satin-lining of their suits would allow.

And maybe that is what will happen. Heck, maybe that is what is happening right now. But from a fan’s perspective, things have gone from weird to friggin’ ridiculous now.

It sorta comes down to Pacquiao’s refusal to have blood drawn within 48 hours of the March 13 fight. He has his reasons (hates needles, doesn’t want to be weakened by a blood deposit so close to the fight) just as Mayweather has his reasons for requesting a different method of testing be performed (hoping to psyche out opponent, believes opponent cheats). But it also sorta isn’t that simple.

With megafights come megastakes and both parties want any and every advantage they can get. After all, this is everyone’s payday. Not one last big score necessarily, but along those lines. For both fighters, 2009 led up to this 2010 fight. They know this, the promoters know this, the fans know this and most importantly, the promoters know that the fans know this.

So all this could be bluster. Here we are writing about it. Here you are reading about it. That’s hype, folks. Mayweather’s promoter Leonard Ellerbee (who really ought to go by “Leo”) and Pacquiao’s promoter Bob Arum might just be flexing. Puffing their chests and fanning their plumes. Makin’ something out of nothin’ in hopes of making this big thing bigger.

But nevermind the camps in this bout. This thing’s gone past crazed hype and moved dangerously into disaster. Just yesterday, Pacquiao officially sued the Mayweather camp for defamation. This, of course, has nothing to do with boxing anymore.

Start with Mayweather’s request. Pacquiao agreed to normal testing for a boxing match. Mayweather wants to utilize the Olympic-style of testing. But think about this: if the Nevada State Athletic Commission changes its protocol to appease one or both fighters, it’s tacitly admitting that its methods need tweaking. Do you like admitting your methods need tweaking? No. So imagine if you weren’t you, but an entire commission.

Which isn’t to suggest the NAC is perfect. Far from it. They could have stopped this. Instead they bounced along the sidelines, fueling an already uncontrolled fire. On Monday the Nevada commission ordered both fighters to take immediate random drug tests.

Yeah. I typed that correctly. Random. Both fighters. Same time. Simultaneously being targeted on purpose, but still being called random. Totally legal.

So yeah. The NAC could use a little tweaking. But that doesn’t mean they want to admit it.

From Martin Rogers at Yahoo!:

Manny Pacquiao and Floyd Mayweather Jr. have both been ordered to take immediate drug tests by the Nevada Athletic Commission.

NAC chairman Pat Lundvall issued the demand on Monday in line with the commission’s random testing policy, which conforms to the World Anti Doping Agency’s guidelines.

However, the tests will only sample urine, and despite the commission’s actions, a resolution to the argument over blood testing which is threatening the staging of the fight is no nearer.

Awesome. Not blood. Urine. Perhaps both fighters will come up clean. Then the commission will tell both fighters to shut up and train for the bout. Maybe. But why test them at all? Why not just skip to the shut up bit?

The lazy answer is hype and money. But as a fan, this doesn’t excite me. This confuses me. When is the fight? Where is the fight? Are we going to see the best of both fighters on March 13 if they’re bickering about needles until February?

This move by the commission seems designed to show it is committed to a drug testing policy

Yeah, but whose policy? It’s not the NAC’s or else this sudden random test wouldn’t have happened? If it was the one’s being bandied about from Mayweather’s camp, it would be a blood test and it would happen in a few months. This? This is just … a panic attack.

Also, why is Mayweather vaguely suggesting Pacquiao is a cheat and demanding blood tests to prove such a hypothesis? Others have suggested Mayweather doesn’t feel this way, but simply wants to get into Pacquiao’s head.

Either way, we’re over two months away from a fight that hasn’t even been made official. Pay-Per-View buys haven’t been sold yet, neither have tickets to the event. Is now the best time to make it look as if Pacquaio’s a fraud. If Pacquiao is using performance enhancers (and there’s absolutely no evidence to suggest he is or has in the past), exposing him would erase the fight and Mayweather’s biggest payday. And if he’s just trying to psyche out Pacquaio, is this the way to do it? By telling the world he’s not the athlete he appears to be?

That’s funny behavior for the camp backing a guy named “Money.”

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Photos courtesy of Flickr

How’s that old brain-teaser go? The one about, “I’m afraid I cannot operate on this boy because he is my son?” Did that involve boxing at all? Because if it did, it would really help this blog introduction.The World Boxing Council’s annual convention came and went earlier this week and one of the more only interesting items to come from it is the president’s campaign to get fathers banished from their son’s corners. The campaign is led by WBC president Jose Sulaiman, who actually reminded those in attendance that such a rule already exists, but is enforced about as much as the two-steps rule in basketball.

The sudden interest in keeping fathers away from their sons during fights arrived because of a study conducted by the WBC’s medical advisory board that suggested lapses in judgment brought about by familial familiarity could – and often does – get fighters killed.

“The most common factor out of all the fatalities that had happened, was having fathers in the corner,” Dr. Paul Wallace, chairman of the WBC’s medical advisory board, said of the study. “Now, that’s not something that’s a medical issue, but it’s something that’s clearly an association.”

This goes back to that brain-teaser that I can only barely remember. There is an alleged correlation between a father looking at someone he loves and not seeing the reality of the situation. My initial reaction is that this would actually make fighters safer, not at risk. Most fathers aren’t inclined to watch their sons get thrashed, right? Wouldn’t the towel get thrown earlier with a father manning the corner?

Then again, neither I nor my father are a part of the fight world. There’s a different code. Different sense of honor. Different meaning of pride. WBC governor Rex Walker also offered up the possibility that it isn’t always about the sons.

“Too many fathers live through their kid in the ring,” Walker said. “They transform from the corner to the kid, and they want to stay in the fight – but they’re not the ones getting hit.”

The WBC plans to establish a body to examine ring deaths and serious injuries. And I’d be interested to know how such examinations (both of future deaths and past ones) will work. There were eight WBC deaths caused by fighting between 1990 and 2001. Even if that number doubled in the last nine years, that’s not a very large sample size (although it’s a huge number of deaths).

And even if the sample size were bigger, quantifying a father-son relationship is tricky. How many fighters have relationships with their trainers akin to that of a father-son pairing?

How would you have described Maggie Fitzgerald’s relationship with Frankie Dunn? He was definitely a father figure to her and look how that turned out.

The WBC death study would have missed that one.