“Okay, Aim About Six Feet Off From the…Holy S@#&! BEES!!”
How many bees does it take to ruin the 18th hole at Arlington, TX’s, Waterchase Golf Club? The answer is, like three. So what happens if suddenly 60,000 of the damn things appear?
A tree limb near the final hole of the course fell, exposing a swarm (or a few hundred swarms depending on how you define swarm) of yellow jackets. And considering bees never do a quick flyby and then move on to greener pastures, you can bet that 60,000 bees mingling around was enough to compel the course officials to halt the UTA / Waterchase Invitational in progress Tuesday afternoon.
The report of the infestation mentions that a beekeeper was called in to handle the situation.
“Um, hello. I’m with the Waterchase Golf Course. I hear you’re a bee wrangler, which is good ‘cause I’ve got a few bees need wranglin’. … Do you have a bee wrangling partner? …Yeah? Good. Bring everyone on your team. … No, all of ‘em. Seriously. … If you own firearms, you might want to throw those in the Buzzmobile too.”
Wichita State won the tournament based on the Round 2 results from the day before.
There have since been six unconfirmed deaths from the beekeeping crew hired to control the 18th Hole.*
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* By “unconfirmed” I mostly mean “made up by me just now.” And by “mostly” I mean “totally.”
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