Belarussian Loses Long Jump World Title by a Hair
The title of this post will strike you as being clever after I explain:
Belarussian Nastassia Mironchyk-Ivanova lost the World Championships in South Korea after her long-ish pony tail made a sand landing before her feet did, thereby forcing judges to mark the spot her hair hit instead of the spot her feet hit – a difference of about half a foot.
Now you see why this title is so great, right? “By a hair?” It IS fantastic. Thank you for saying so.
Anyway, she captured fourth place with her hair-jump, which is still kind of amazing when you think about it. She technically landed on her head and still almost placed. After she’s done being upset, I’d urge Mironchyk-Ivanova to leverage that into a humble-brag.
“Yeah, I shoulda put my hair in a bun, but still, my hair alone beat out all but three jumpsters around the globe.” I’m assuming here that people engaged in this sport refer to themselves as “jumpsters.” If they don’t, they should.
If nothing else, the Belarussian – and anyone else – should just get enormous hair extensions the day before the event. After tying it into a huge pony tail, take off from the plank and whip the extensions around in front of you. With a little practice, we’ll start seeing all sorts of jumpsters with 9 foot, 10 foot, 11 foot jumps.
Then they can call up the nice folks at Guinness and invent up a new sports record.
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