I Don’t Think Marketing Means What Penn’s Marketing Team Thinks It Means
Penn State instituted a tradition in which 107,000 fans all agreed to show up at Beaver Stadium for one highly anticipated game each season clad top-to-tail in white. All white. Then they called the place the White House because Penn’s marketing people are paid to be clever like that. At least that’s what I assume they’re supposed to do. I don’t think we see eye-to-eye on it.
The tradition started in 2007 when Notre Dame arrived in University Park. The White House Game continued in ’08 with Illinois and last year against Iowa. Ticket holders for the September 25 game against Temple noticed a message that said “Everyone wear white.” Considering this is well past Labor Day and a fashion faux pas in most contexts, it’s safe to assume the ticket was referring to that game being this season’s White House Game. Nah.
“The White House is a tradition that everyone can agree should be saved for only certain games and certain opponents,” Paternoville Coordination Committee President Alex Cohen wrote in a text.
Suck on that, Michigan. Not only Michigan, but Michigan State should suck on it. And, of course, Temple too. But mostly Michigan. None of them are worthy of a White House Game distinction, despite the White House Game tradition only being three years old and hardly a tradition yet (especially if they skip it this year). The bruised and broken Wolverines program just announced that it spent $226 million in renovations that, among other things, gives Michigan’s Big House the largest capacity in all college football, replacing who? Why, Penn State’s Beaver Stadium, of course.
Are you telling me Penn State can’t leverage this to create a frenzied atmosphere in a game that might not otherwise have one (relatively speaking, of course. This is still Penn State)? Here, try: “109,901 screaming Wolverines ain’t nothin’ but white noise. Show ‘em how it’s done, Lions.”
See? That’s not bad for a a hopelessly drunk guy giving it six seconds worth of thought. Notice how I made it “‘em” instead of “them?” That was for the kids. They love that stuff. Or how about this? The Michigan-Penn State game is the day before Halloween. Can’t we work in a reference to “white as a ghost” or something? C’mon, Penn. You now have the second-biggest stadium in the nation and the people that lowered you to that distinction are visiting you the day before Halloween! You can’t make an event out of that, but you’re willing to host your next White House Game against ‘Bama on the 10th anniversary of the 9-11 terrorist attacks? Good luck with that.
I can understand not hosting another White House Game if people were complaining that all the white was somehow bothersome:
…’Cause this is how Klan rallies get started.
…’Cause the albinos are beginning to stir.
…’Cause this is literally the only way Pennsylvanians could get an whiter.
I could keep going, but I won’t. All I’m sayin–
‘Cause such a concentration of white lions in one habitat is unnatural!
… Sorry. I thought I had tucked that one away. Won’t happen again.
The truth is, college kids don’t need a reason to … well, to do anything as a huge group. Tell ‘em to wear white, they’ll do it. They’ll do it awesomely. This is like “Iron Man 2″ leaving $100 million in box office grosses on the table by not going 3-D. It’s your funeral. Enjoy getting smacked by “Alice in Wonderland,” a movie which I believe was shot in the extra space created by Michigan’s Big House renovations.
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Photos courtesy of Flickr
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