Who’s Ready To See This Man Naked?
I won’t bury the lede on this one. Soccer legend and Argentina coach Diego Maradona has publicly promised to run naked through the center of Buenos Aires if his team wins the World Cup.
And if you’ve ever seen attractive Argentinians get naked (and who hasn’t?) you should know just how horrifying this promise is.
This might also be the smartest thing Maradona has ever done. Hedge the bets. If Argentina loses the World Cup, fans will be at a 10 on the disappointment scale. If Argentina loses the World Cup, but it means they don’t have to see Marodona’s “Hand of God?” Well, that brings the crowd down to, like, a seven or something on the scale.
Or maybe the guy was so hyped up from his 5-0 whomping of Canada on Monday that he just wasn’t thinking.
Admittedly, it’s been a long time since I freshened up my understanding of Argentine law, but is it even legal to run through the center of town naked? I mean, the equivalent here would be Phil Jackson promising to run down Hollywood Blvd. with just his Zen to guide him if the Lakers won the Finals. He could say it, he could even mean it. But if he did it, he’d be arrested. He wouldn’t make it four blocks. Plus, he’s got foot problems, he might not even make it two blocks.
But I digress.
Is there any chance Maradona could do this? Much less, would do this? I mean, outside of Playa Escondida, Buenos Aires’ nude beach, I’m not sure that announcing the possibility of public nudity as an effect of a successful cause is enough to make it happen legally.
I bet he goes the Naked Cowboy route. He’ll strip down to next to nothing and place props in proper places so as to appear naked, without actually breaking the laws. It’s like consuming alcohol in public – just keep a safety cover over the sweet spots.
So there you go, Buenos Aires. If your team wins the World Cup, you get a near-nude Diego Maradona running past you and grossing you out while you munch a choripan.
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Photo courtesy of Flickr
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