Wizards Can’t Give Away Tickets, Lets Dunkin’ Donuts Do It Instead
I’m from Chicago. A city where the echoes of Michael Jordan refuse to quiet even a decade after he swished his last United Center basket. Since M.J., Chicago has seen some bad Bulls teams. None of them, however, were so bad that a cup of java was equivalent to a seat in the 300 level.
Enter the D.C. Wizards.
The 21-39 Wiz are amidst its “Drink 5 to Watch the Starting 5″ promotion, which along with its labored name, reduces the worth of a game ticket to merely 6.25 lbs-worth of coffee. Less than that. Technically, two Wizards nose-bleeds are worth that much.
The economics of this are about as baffling as the development of Andray Blatche being the team’s best player.
The promotion states that if you buy five large (20 oz.) cups of coffee, save the receipts and mail ‘em to the Wizards, they’ll send you two tickets for your trouble. And let’s be clear, it really isn’t much trouble. It’s not like qualifiers won’t have the energy to send in the receipts – they just drank 100 ounces of coffee!
This is $9.95 worth of bean we’re talking about )plus tax). That’s $4.98 a ticket. But it’s not $4.98 a ticket. It’s $9.95 for coffee (plus tax) and completely free tickets.
Gee-whiz, Wiz. You’re better than that (they’re not). And it’s not like the team is out there by themselves. The three worst teams the Wizards play from now until the end of the season at home are the Warriors, Nets and Pacers. You wouldn’t go see Stephen Curry, Brook Lopez or Danny Granger play for free? Not for free?!
Seriously, not for free?
Because – and I cannot reiterate this enough – if D.C. residents popped into their neighborhood Dunkin’ Donuts each morning between today and Friday, saved the receipts and mailed ‘em in – KAPOW! they’re in the building to see Monta Ellis play 45 minutes and turn the ball over six times.
And that’s worth every penny.
Also worth every penny? The damn Dunkin’ Donuts coffee itself. That’s some tasty java, Jack. So tasty, in fact, that the donut chain decided to play chicken with your senses by offering a second competing promotion.
Buy six cups of coffee, get the seventh cup free.
Imagine someone with five receipts in his back pocket standing at the Dunkin’ counter trying to decide between a) two free tickets to a professional sporting event of a team on which Michael Jordan once played or b) two cups of coffee at half price (essentially).
Take heed American cities. These are the choices you may face if your professional athletic club suspends and trades away all of its discernible talent in the span of six weeks.
Two free tickets to a game or two free cups of 1/2-priced coffee.
_________________
Photo courtesy of Flickr
Comments are closed
