Tip-In Points: The Werewolf From “Twilight” Went Off In Jersey
Anyone can suggest adds and drops for the NBA fantasy fans out there, but few make those suggestions from the gut. We’ve also sprinkled in tons of helpful stats for all fantasy formats too. Because that’s the kind of fantasy help you deserve.
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Kris Humphries, NJ Kiki Vanderweghe Vanderweighed his options and decided that recent Mavericks acquisition couldn’t possibly do any more damage to the people of New Jersey than they’d already had done to them. Then *POOF* like a mist of Agent Orange, this guy comes out and drops a career-high 25 points on the unsuspecting Clippers.
Thing is, the Clippers should have suspected this. Since Netting up six games ago, Hump (we’ll call him “Hump” for now) has averaged 14 points, 7 rebounds and 1.3 blocks+steals. He’s a tyranasaur! And with all the other nonsense the Nets have been punting out onto the court, there’s no reason he won’t average 30 minutes a game all season.
Humphries scored 25. That’s 13 more points than LeBron James scored last night. Let’s see who else is suddenly way better at basketball than LeBron James.
LeBron James, CLE Played only 31 minutes, tied a season low 12 points. You were foolish not to have started J.J. Hickson instead.
J.J. Hickson, CLE Career-high 23 points. Nudge me when his career-high is at least as high as Kris Humphries.
Andrew Bynum, LAL Made 12-of-14 and ended with a 27/12 double-double. In Indiana, they call that Pácericide. That’s a soft “a.” Also, 15 more points than LeBron.
Kobe Bryant, LAL Dropped 29 points, grabbed nine rebounds and assisted on seven. But the highlight of the night? Danny Granger bounced an inbound pass off Bryant (who had his back turned), took the ball to the hoop, got fouled, sank both free throws. It took Bryant damn near six minutes to figure out wha’ had happened. He looked like Wile E. Coyote right before he realizes he’s walked off the ledge into thin air. Um, 17 more points than LeBron.
Roy Hibbert, IND Scored 21 points in 28 minutes. It was a strong 28 minutes, but was it strong enough to convince Jim O’Brien he deserves a starting gig? C’mon. O’Brien hasn’t been convinced of anything since he was told he was capable of coaching professional athletes. So you know that was at least 20 years ago. Nine more points than LeBron.
Mario Chalmers, MIA Played fewer than five minutes despite claiming he was going to fight for his starting job again. BTW, you aren’t still rostering Chalmers on your fantasy team, are you? Really? Weird.
Dwyane Wade, MIA The 35-point scoring is nice. So’s the percentages (52% FG, 100% FT) and the assists (10). But Flash, my man, them turnovers, brother (3). What’s up with them turnovers? That’s 12 in the last five games. Twenty-three more points than LeBron.
Chris Bosh, TOR Had a weak double-double at halftime (11/10) then improved upon it by game’s end (24/18) moving him into a tie with Dwight Howard for the most double-doubles in the league (33) and on your fantasy team (still 33). Almost had LeBron’s point total at halftime.
DeMar DeRozan, TOR DNP – right ankle injury / bruised ego caused by Rookie Challenge All-Star snub.
Craig Smith, LAC Had 18 points and eight rebounds in 37 minutes. He’s been surprisingly solid lately. Depending on Camby’s recovery time, he might be an option in deeper leagues. Oh, also, he had six more points than LeBron.
Baron Davis, LAC What’s cooler than being cool!?! Baron Davis! 2-for-10, four assists.
Marcus Camby, LAC Camby bruised his ribs 6:55 into the first quarter. He may or may not play on Friday.
Courtney Lee, Devin Harris, NJ DNPs. Lee had a wisdom tooth yanked. Harris’ wrist is still too limp to play (wink, wink).
Richard Hamilton, DET Matched his season-high in assists (10) like a good boy. Give him an extra heaping of apple compote for dessert. Four more points than LeBron.
Rodney Stuckey, DET “Season-high, Rip? Ha! I’ve got my career-high right here!” /presents 11 assists\ “Ta-da, fool!” Hopefully for Detroit, these two will start engaging in assisticuffs throughout the second half of the season. Jonas Jerebko hopes so too. Five more points than LeBron.
Elton Brand, PHI Game-high 26 points (14 more than LeBron). He was the only Sixer that didn’t stink up the gym. I’ve often been overheard saying “the only good Sixer is an Elton Sixer. And the only good Sister is Twisted Sister.” Jrue story.
Tyrus Thomas, CHI Thirteen points in 18 minutes (one more point than LeBron). Also five turnovers. I can’t tell if he’s more confused about how Vinny Del Negro is playing him or if Vinny Del Negro is more confused at Thomas’ inconsistant performance. Bring on Amar’e!
Kevin Durant, OKC He drained 28 points (16 more than LeBron), but shot 37 percent in the process. Not cool, KD. Not cool!
Mike Bibby, ATL La Bibbyotheque was a non-entity. He shot 0-for-7, grabbed a rebound and an assist. His wife painted the walls in their house and when he stands up, he blends in seamlessly.
Jamal Crawford, ATL Scored 25 off the bench. It was the 19th game he’s scored at least 20 this season. It’s the first time he’s scored exactly 13 more points than LeBron. That’s how I get you to keep comin’ back: fun facts like that.
Tim Duncan, SA Dropped a 21/27 double-double on Wednesday. Twenty-seven boards? Fo’ real? I kinda thought he was all done career-besting things. Whoops!
Tony Parker, SA And here we thought the plantar faciitis might get Parker. Turns out t’was a left ankle sprain killed the beast. Manu’s a go while le Frenchmen is out at least a few games.
Luis Scola, HOU 20 points, 11 rebounds, 2 steals, a block, extra conditioner.
Carlos Boozer, UTA 22 minutes. Strained right calf. Check in later.
Andre Miller, POR Woof. 3-of-19 from the field in his last two games and only four assists last night, right when reports of everything clicking in Portland began to surface. Unclick! Unclick!
C.J. Watson, GS Season-high 23 points proves that as long as you care more than Don Nelson, he won’t bother you. Also, if you score more than LeBron James (11 more in this case) you get a clap on the back.
Corey Maggette, GS Slumpin’. 8-for-35 (23% FG) in his last two games. Still scored two more points than LeBron.
Stephen Curry, GS He played 41 minutes and shot 54 percent from the floor. Curry is the new Maggette.
Monta Ellis, GS Returned from injury. 19/6/9 in 43 minutes. For him, that’s still injured. Seven more points than LeBron.
L I N E O F T H E N I G H T
37:33 min / 74% FG / 100% FT / 1 3pt / 38 pts / 6 rbd / 9 ast / 3 stl / 7 to
Chris Paul, NO CP3 having 38 points in 38 minutes in addition to assisting on nine other buckets during his time on the floor is mind-boggling. I’m mind boggled. Mid, dim, din, mind. Boggled.
While Paul was scoring a point a minute for the entire game, he also directly helped one other score every four minutes and 20 seconds on the game clock. Twenty-one points were scored off Chris Paul assists, making a total of 59 Hornets points directly attributed to Paul in one way or another in the 37:33 he was on the floor. That’s about one Paul-fueled point every 38 seconds.
What’s that mean for your fantasy team?
Don’t bench him.
Ever.
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Photos courtesy of Yahoo! Sports via Getty Images
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