Tip-In Points: The REAL Housewives Of Atlanta
Anyone can suggest adds and drops for the NBA fantasy fans out there, but few make those suggestions from the gut. We’ve also sprinkled in tons of helpful stats for all fantasy formats too. Because that’s the kind of fantasy help you deserve.
________________________
The Atlanta Hawks Starters None of the five men in Atlanta’s starting rotation scored more than 11 points last night. Three of the starters couldn’t shoot better than 33 percent from the floor and the two that could, only took a dozen shots. In short, it was awful. A mess. An awful mess. Messy awfulness. That about cover it? No. I’m-a keep going.
Aside from the dearth of points, Josh Smith was the only starting Hawk contributing in boards (6), assists (5) and blocks (1). Sadly, he also contributed heaviest to the turnovers (3) and lightest to the free throws (3-for-6). When you’re off, you’re off. But a new word needs inventin’ for Joe Johnson’s performance. He shot 27 percent while taking a team-high 15 shots and stood on the court gettin’ baffled by Dwyane Wade for nearly 39 minutes. The there’s Batboy (Mike Bibby), who collects paychecks by assisting other players toward scores, yet had nary an assist in 23 minutes on the court. If you played any Hawk last night beside Jamal Crawford (23 point, but still only shot 39 percent) than you had a bad night.
Some other folks who had bad nights and the opponents who caused them:
Martell Webster, POR He shot 60 percent from the floor including five 3-pointers. He’s averaging 23.5 pts/ 8.5 rbds/ 4.5 3ptm in his last two contests. Since Jarryd Bayless isn’t pulling down those digits, Webster seems like a solid pick-up while Portland waits for the future to arrive.
Brandon Roy, POR 3-for-12 with six assists. It was the first time in 244 regular season games he was unable to score more than six points despite clocking over 40 minutes of play. Christ, did Roy and Joe Johnson stay up late the night before catching up on old Dr. Who episodes? This is the only explanation I could come up with.
Jeff Pendergraph, POR Man, I used to love Jeff Pendergraph in junior high! Everyone always backed Barry White, but I always said Jeff Pendergraph was underrated. You could put dude’s voice on a biscuit and watch the cornflour soak it up. No one sang “The More I Get the More I Want” like Jeff Pendergra- wait, no. I’m thinking of Teddy Pendergrass. Hm. Uh, well … Frankly, I’m unaware of Jeff Pendergraph’s biscuit-soaking capabilities. Does 4-for-4 with seven boards and a block do anything for you?
Marcus Camby, LAC 9 pts/ 13 rbds/ 6 asts/ 3 stls/ 2 blks/ 1 to. I’m not giving him the Line of the Night. You know I should and I know I should. But Marcus needs to learn to stick up for himself every once in a while.
Baron Davis, LAC Nine dimes, eight turnovers. Whew! Lucky ol’ Baron got that last assist in. No one wants a 1:1 ast:to ratio. It just makes you look like a selfish, bearded clumsy Clipper player.
Devin Brown, NO It took him 443 career games, but Devin Brown scored 30 last night. I’m not prepared to live in a world where Devin Brown scores 30, but Brandon Roy can’t muster seven.
Peja Stojakovic, NO A Peja that can’t sink a three (1-for-6) is a Peja that plays basketball about as well as I do.
Mehmet Okur, UTA Nine points on 3-for-11 shooting. Every time I pay attention, it seems as if MehmO is stinkin’ up the gymnasium. Put your calculator-watch away. It means I’ve paid attention to all but about 11 games this season.
Kevin Durant, OKC Durantula “only” scored 25. Dissappointing. If he’s going to turn the ball over five times in each of his last five games, at least keep the 30+ point streak going too. He’s second in the league in turnovers, trailing only Monta Ellis, who not only plays PG, but manages to rack up minutes even on days the team isn’t playing.
Jeff Green, OKC Hey, did anyone see Jeff Green last night? Uh, I think he was out by the wing. I know he started the game. Did he get hurt? Naw. He … was he down low? I thought I saw him set a screen for Nenad. He only played 14 minutes, but wasn’t hurt or in foul trouble. Sorry, dude … Hey, are you going to the back porch? I could use another Killian’s Red.
Russell Westbrook, OKC He ended with 29 pts/ 7 rbds/ 6 asts. only after going assistless in the first half. One half’s nothin’. I went “assistless” until my sophomore year in college.
Kirk Hinrich, CHI As a reserve: 36 FG%/ 70 FT%/ 8.5 ppg/ 3.8 apg. As a starter (last five games): 40 FG%/ 86 FT%/ 10.6 ppg/ 5.4 apg. Vinny Del Peep has lost his sheep and this is the best he can do.
Dwyane Wade, MIA 28 pts/ 8 rbds/ 4 asts. He shot over 50 percent from the floor and over 100 percent from the line. I’m not sure how that last bit is possible, but I’m sure Nike will come up with something.
L I N E O F T H E N I G H T
40 min. / 45 FG% / 47 FT% / 22 pts / 3 rbds / 16 asts / 3 stls / 3 to
Andre Miller, POR ‘Dre Day posted double-digit assists for the first time in 22 games. It took two horrific knee injuries, pneumonia, an assassination attempt, some swine flu, bullies stealing milk money, this profile pic and some general ennui before Miller felt comfortable enough to perform like this for Portland. All that and the Blazers still lost.
___________________
Photos courtesy of Yahoo! Sports via Getty Images
Comments are closed
