Tip-In Points: Rodney Wins The Stuckey Derby
Anyone can suggest adds and drops for the NBA fantasy fans out there, but few make those suggestions from the gut. We’ve also sprinkled in tons of helpful stats for all fantasy formats too. Because that’s the kind of fantasy help you deserve.
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Rodney Stuckey, DET Stuckey’s last two points were also Detroit’s last two points and were, in fact, the game’s last two points as he made the game-winning shot with 8.9 seconds left to go against the Sixers. From a fantasy perspective, it’s just two points. Bully for however Stuckey recieved those two points. But realistically, Stuckey is the man on this injured Pistons team. And he proved twice last night that he can handle it. Ben Gordon and Rip Hamilton are officially “the man” of the team (they’ve decided to share the title instead of splitting it into “the Men” King Solomon-style). It’s been said that Morgan Freeman was born to play Nelson Mandela in “Invictus”, but how can they be sure Nelson Mandela wasn’t born so that Morgan Freeman could eventually play him in a movie? The same thing goes for the injuries to Hamilton and Gordon. It sin’t so much Stuckey is stepping up, but perhaps that the other two are finally stepping down.
Here are other figures Morgan Freeman was born to play.
Joakim Noah, CHI I said this yesterday: “The rebounding is still impressive, but what’s happening to the scoring? He averaged 12.1 points in his first 10 games and only nine points in his last nine.” After his impressive two points on 0-for-4 shooting Wednesday, make that 8.3 points in his last 10 games.
Brad Miller, CHI Coach Del Negro started Miller for the second straight game, yet played him fewer minutes than he played as a reserve because Del Negro isn’t into labels, man. Hopefully, he’s as freewheeling with the terms employed head coach and unemployed head coach. Miller’s averaging 3.9 fewer points, 0.9 fewer rebounds and 1.4 fewer assists as a starter and under no circumstances should he be on your team. In fact, I’m dissappointed in you for even reading this passage, because it suggests you were considering putting Miller on your team.
Dahntay Jones, IND Dahntay’s tahking injured Dahnny Grahnger’s mihnutes. He used them to scohre 19 points on 8-fohr-13 shoohting.
Tyler Hansbrough, IND 13 / 11. Was this Hands, Bro’s first dub-dub? Why, yes. Yes it was. He played a season-high 22 minutes. Look for him to get some of that Granger runoff too (gross).
Jamal Crawford, ATL Crawford was in sniper mode last night. He scored 29 from the bench, including 16 in the first half. But if you’ll punch those numbers into your calculator, you’ll see that 13 points remained for him to score in the second half, which he did against a Bulls team that had given up by that point. He was still draining threes while Derrick Rosen-Rosen was on the bench searching the crowd for the comely lass he would chose to bring back to the roadie van. Crawford has been the team’s top scorer in 7-of-21 games this season.
Brandon Roy, POR After his fourth straight 25-point performance, his streak is second only to Kevin Durant (6). Roy scores more on the road (21.2) than at home (20.2). He’s second only to Tiger Woods in that aspect. /rimshot. Ithankyou.
Jonas Jerebko, DET Has anyone noticed this kid’s had three double-doubles in his last five games? No? Well, I suppose you didn’t notice that I got my haircut yesterday either.
Samuel Dalembert, PHI I made fun of Samuel L. Dalembert on November 25. At the time, he was averaging 6.4 pts / 6.1 rbds / 1.6 blks. Since then, he’s averaged 7.4 pts / 10.8 rbds / 2.8 blks. What does this prove? That I’m made of magic. I’m gonna go back and make fun of Tyler Hansbrough now.
Anthony Morrow, GSW He returned after missing two games, but you wish he hadn’t. He scored six points on 2-for-7 shooting in over 40 minutes.
Chris Douglas-Roberts, NJ Never went anywhere, but you wish he had. In over 39 minutes, he scored only 10 points and turned over the ball five times.
Al Jefferson, MIN Jefferson’s 17-point, 16-rebound night was his second high in rebounds and his fifth consecutive double-double. He’s gettin’ his giddy-ups back, that’s why.
Jonny Flynn, MIN Had 14 points and nine assists in 33 minutes and he’s slowly helping Ramon Sessions fade into Minnesota Wilderness. If you had told me there would be a turf war this year between a guy named Ramon and a guy named Jonny and neither switchblades nor musical dancing interludes would be involved, I’d call you a damn dirty liar.
Richard Jefferson, SA 23 / 8 / 3. I don’t know what to tell you about the Spurs. They’ve had a different scoring leader in each of their last five games. Wednesday was Jefferson’s night. If Roger Mason leads the charge in the team’s next game, I’ll not be surprised. It was the first games since November 11 Jefferson had scored more than 16 points.
Omri Casspi, SAC Casspi is sixth in scoring among this year’s rookie class in fewer than 30 minutes a game. Unfortunately, one of the frontrunners for Rookie of the Year is Casspi’s teammate, Tyreke Evans. This makes Casspi the second-prettiest girl in the clique. The second-prettiest girl is always just as pretty as the prettiest girl, except for one flaw, like crispy bangs or a wonky eye. Casspi has a wonky eye compared to Tyreke Evans. *Note: Omri Casspi does not have an actual wonky eye. However, I DO believe he had crispy bangs as a teenager.
Beno Udrih, SAC Played 36 minutes and shot .636 from the floor. He also ld the team with six assists. Isn’t Beno also a medicine that makes you fart a ton? It is. And Udrih was thus namedeth “the Gasman.”
Andrei Kirilenko, UTA Still hurting. I’m talking about the Jazz, now. Still hurting. There I was talking about Kirilenko. Do you see the difference? No? That’s ’cause however Andrei goes, so go the Jazz.
Wesley Matthews, UTA The rook’ went 2-for-12 with seven points, but that’s good news because he was distracted with havig to guard Kobe Bryant last night. It means Jerry Sloan likes the kid. He liks him so much that he decided to reward him with a hellacious defensive assignment that made him shoot like a drunkard. Congrats, kid.
LeBron James, CLE 27 / 6 / 7 / 1 / 1. Is there anything he can’t do? Dude’s terrible at Pictionary. Oh, okay. Good to know.
Shaquille O’Neal, CLE Shaq shot 2-for-8 and grabbed 10 rebounds in almost 23 minutes. He’s breathing like Tony Soprano these days.
Mo Williams, CLE LeBron is the Cavs, but when Mo presses, the Cavs lose. If only there were a way to prove that. SHAZAAM! Statproof! Williams has shot an average of .490 FG% / .564 3P% / 35.3 mpg in wins. In losses, he plays extra minutes (37.0) and shoots much worse (.333 FG% / .243 3P%). In last night’s loss? .200 FG% / .200 3P% / 31 min.
Aaron Brooks, HOU After coming off his worst game of the season, Brooks had one of his best. 27 pts / 6 asts. Even despite that bad game, Brooks is averaging over 20 points and 5.4 assists in his last five.
Shane Battier, HOU 14 pts / 3 rbds / 3 asts / 2 stls / 2 blks. He made four field goals, all of them were threes. If you’re looking for a player that fills the box score, you could do much worse than Battier. Then again, you could do much better. But if you already knew that then you wouldn’t be here, would you? So we’re stuck with each other. And maybe with Shane Battier, who you could do much worse than.
L I N E O F T H E N I G H T
Kobe Bryant, LAL Kobe Bean missed Wednesday’s afternoon shootaround after a violent robbery took place in his neighborhood. You’d think he could afford to move to a nicer neighborhood. No matter, he still earned 27 pts / 6 rbds / 8 asts /2 stls /2 blks / 2 to / 1 3ptm / .526 FG% / .750 FT%
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Photos courtesy of Yahoo! Sports via Getty Images
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