Picture This: No One Told Ethier They Weren’t Growing Playoff Hair
Sometimes the hardest part of losing the playoffs is saying goodbye. Cleaning out the ol’ locker, preparing to reconnect with the family after a long summer, steal a few keepsakes from the clubhouse, take one last canoe ride around the lake, try to sneak one last kiss from camp counselor Jenna.
I’ve never noticed until just now how similar ending a season is to the final days of summer camp.
I guess that explains why Manny Ramirez’s last encounter with Andre Ethier Thursday afternoon brought a nostalgic tear to my eye.
“Andre. Jou see my pummice stone, man? It’s no in my locker. No in the shower. I bought that at a Bath & Body Works in Cleveland and I won’t have time to replace it before I leave for Punta Cana.”
“Naw Manny. All I have is this Garnier Fructis, which you should really start using when you cut off those dreads.
“Wha’ you mean ‘cut ‘em off?’ I no gon’ cut ‘em off. The dreads are me, Manny. It’s part of my schtick.”
“You’re schtick? I thought we were all growing playoff hair and everything. What’s Casey doing with that beard? And Kemp with that gristle? You telling me that was a stylistic choice?”
“Jour jheri curl is cool, man. Are jou telling me jou gonna get rid of it?”
“Heck yeah, Manny. No one in their right mind wears their hair like this.”
“What about Magglio Ordonez? He wore his hair like you. To be hones’, man, when I first got here, I thought you were Magglio. I was like, ‘Dang man, L.A. went wild at the trade deadline.’ Besides, I’ve had dreads forever.”
“Yeah, but they used to be normal dreads. Now they’re like … they look like sailor’s rope. All throughout the St. Louis series I had to stop myself from tying your mess into an angler’s loop. For serious.”
“Jour just not inquisitive enough, man. You shoulda asked around. Jou shouldn’t assume things, ‘Dre.”
“But what about Kershaw? His beard didn’t even grow all around his face? We really weren’t doing playoff beards or growing our hair out or anything? Dude, this blows. This whole team blows.”
“Ees jus’ a game, man. Have a goo’ vacation. You find my stone, hang onto it. I’m gonna want that back. I’m gon’ golook one more time in the shower.”
__________________________
Andre Ethier photos courtesy of Yahoo! Sports via Getty Images
Manny Ramirez photos courtesy of Yahoo! Sports via AP
Leave a Reply
