Streaking: It’s All Fun And Games Until Someone Becomes A Sex Offender
This season, St. Francis High in Minnesota has had a spate of nogoodnik teens impressing their lady-friends and making good on dares by streaking across various fields into that gentle night. When you’re not athletic enough to be invited onto the field, there’s really only one other way to get there.
Take off your clothes and sprint across it.
Then take all the backstreets home so that no one sees you. Cops aren’t any more fond of finding your bare butt flapping home than they are finding you hopping a stadium fence.
Walking home naked … that’s no joke. It may sound funny when your team’s getting blown out by three touchdowns in the fourth quarter, but being naked outside at night in the fall? C’mon when is that a good idea?
It’s an especially not good idea because there’s an added twist to the streaker’s saga if you’re over 18. Just ask a pair of boneheaded Fighting Saints students (pictured above) who were arrested and could face school suspension, banishment from future football games, expulsion and … I’m forgetting one. Oh yeah, fifth degree criminal sexual conduct. I always forget that one.
See, if you find yourself at a high school sporting event, there’s probably a few children in the bleachers with you. If you get nude or near-nude at a high school football game, there’s a good chance those children will see you. And technically, that means you’re exposing yourself to those minors. If that happens, that’s a conviction, sonny. And if that’s a conviction, the next step will be a punishment stipulating that you must remain registered as a sex offender for 10 years.
And for at least one of the St. Francis kid who awaits his fate, heed this advice: introducing yourself as a sex-offendin’ Fightin’ Saint won’t go over too well with the neighbors.
Go Saints!
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