Kevin Garnett’s Barking Problem: SOLVED!
The Washington Times reported Wednesday that new Wizards coach Flip Saunders had a professional hypnotist entertain the troops during the first team dinner earlier this week. Although some players like DeShawn Stevenson and Caron Butler were un-hypnotizeable, Gilbert Arenas, Nick Young and Mike James were not.
Arenas was hypnotized into thinking he couldn’t open his hand and that he must walk as if hula-hooping everywhere he went. Young treated a balloon like a rodeo bull every time the lights dimmed (I’m sure his wife or girlfriend hoped the hypnotist would leave him under that spell) and James was compelled into barking each time he heard the word “defeat.”
This is the part of the story where it is important to note that Saunders hired the occasional hypnotist for his players when he was coaching the Kevin Garnett-led T-wolves a few years back.
Ah. Some of you see where I’m going with this, don’t you?
For those of you in the back who still don’t get it, Boston’s Kevin Garnett has a barking problem. He barks, which for a human, is a problem. Here’s some video. Here’s a bit more.
In the past, this barking has been attributed to an insatiable will to overcome, to achieve, to win.
Turns out, Saunders just had him brainwashed so that he’d “flip” out (get it?) everytime defeat was in the air. Saunders also must have hypnotized Latrell Sprewell into choking dudes and Stephon Marbury into passing the ball only as a last resort.
Leave a Reply
