This Man Is The Most Awesome Athlete EVER
As children, we dream up an uncountable number of things we’d do if we had a million bucks. There’s that song about it and Michael Jackson infamously constructed a house based on such a scheme. Generally speaking though, we all grow up, start families, invest poorly and dwindle away all the money we dreamed of spending on personal Icee machines for our garages.
What if I told you that one man kept the dream alive? Would that be a man you were interested in knowing?
Indiana Pacer and University of New Mexico alum Danny Granger averaged 25.8 points per game last year, was selected to his first All-Star team, won the Most Improved Player of the Year Award and is ranked highest among the six players who averaged at least one block and one three-pointer per game last season (4.1 BTPG). In short, he’s good. Real good. That block/three stat isn’t even an official category. You see what happened there? That’s how awesome Danny Granger is. Danny Granger is awesome enough that people make up hybrid statistics just to articulate how awesome he is.
But all that stuff is what makes Danny Granger a great basketball player. None of it has to do with what makes him the most awesome athlete ever. Let’s get down to brass tacks here: Danny Granger is building Batman’s Batcave underneath his home’s Albuquerque property … I’ll wait for that to sink in and then I’ll repeat it louder for the people in the back reading over your shoulder.
DANNY GRANGER IS BUILDING A BATCAVE UNDER HIS HOUSE.
This is not a rumor like Paul Pfeiffer from “The Wonder Years” grew up to be Marilyn Manson or an urban legend like hamburgers will make you fat. No, this is true. So says the Wall Street Journal, Yahoo!, and a New Mexico radio talkshow host (34 min. mark).
“You know how Batman drives into a hidden cave? asked Granger in an interview for the official Pacers Website. “I’m serious. I even met with, like, a builder and asked if this would be possible – have a secret entrance to my house that no one knows about. Make it look like whatever, but have a secret way I can get to my house that I could drive my car in. It would probably cost way too much money but I really may think about doing that. I’m dead serious.” – June 14, 2008
Honestly, has there ever been a clearer definition of “living the dream” that consulting construction crews about making a secret retractable hole underneath your house big enough to drive through and maneuver in? This makes that Fender Telecaster you splurged on last year look pret-ty lame now, huh?
“I wanted an underground tunnel entrance,” said Granger about the progress on his underground cave. “I had to take that out. I found out there’s so many state codes and laws against that (laughing) so we had to take that one out. But we still have the underground thing going on [...] and I even got sort of like a moat thing going on so it will be interesting to see.” – August 20, 2009
I want you to imagine this man’s offseason for a second, okay? While many athletes are keeping in game shape or hosting 24-hour UStream videos or hanging out with Asian pop sensations, this man was getting zoning permissions and construction licenses so that one day he and his family can have some sort of hidden entrance to their home and a moat to protect them from Kublai Khan, dragons and … I dunno, Chaucer or somebody.
You can have your Terrell Owens craziness, or Gilbert Arenas‘ million-dollar pool or that Dos Equis dude … I’ll take the guy building a moated Batcave into his house every day of the week.
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Photo courtesy of Yahoo! Sports via Getty Images
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