Beer Interference Is The Best Of All Interferences
We get it. Shane Victorino got $8 worth of beer dumped in his eyes. The kid who did it didn’t get caught. He spent 20 hours getting called every colorful collection of adjectives bloggers could concoct, then turned himself in. He apologized. It’s over. In the end, it was just spilled launched beer. That’s it.
But what if that wasn’t it? The facts of the situation are that the Victorino’s Phillies were embarrassing the Cubs in a mid-August weekday game between two teams in different divisions. If the game were interesting or meaningful, we wouldn’t be talking about beer. Unless …
When 12-year-old Jeffrey Maier reached over the Yankee Stadium bleachers to help Derek Jeter‘s pop fly become a home run in Game 1 of the ’96 ALCS series (which tied the game and helped send it into extra innings where New York eventually won the game and the series), the entire baseball world talked about it. And rightly so; that play changed history.
But Johnny Macchione, Wednesday’s beer-tosser, really only changed his history. As far as the game goes, his actions changed nothing. So let’s not talk about the real Johnny Macchione . Let’s talk about the hypothetical one. Let’s talk about the faux Macchione who hypothetically failed to learn his lesson from this incident. Let’s suppose he found his way to the Wrigley bleachers for Game 7 of this year’s NLCS series against Philly –
(What? Don’t look at me like that. It could stlll happen.)
Let’s also pretend that the game is 4-3 in the bottom of the ninth and the bases are loaded. And let’s say the hypothetical Macchione – nine innings worth of Miller Lite in his belly – dumps yet another cup onto Victorino and this time, he misses the catch. What then? The MLB rules stipulate:
Rule 2.00 (d) Spectator interference occurs when a spectator reaches out of the stands, or goes on the playing field, and touches a live ball. On any interference the ball is dead.
Rule 3.16 When there is spectator interference with any thrown or batted ball, the ball shall be dead at the moment of interference … if spectator interference clearly prevents a fielder from catching a fly ball, the umpire shall declare the batter out.
It seems pretty clear that no matter what happens to Victorino, the runs would not be allowed to score (unless the ump falls asleep on the play like Rich Garcia did in the afore-mentioned Yankee-Baltimore series). So for the home drunks, beer dumping isn’t a good RBI assist strategy. Assuming the umps will make the right call, what if a surprise beer dump happens when the home team is on the field?
What if it’s the top of the ninth in our hypothetical game and the Cubs are ahead 4-3. Let’s put Victorino at the plate now. He pings a laser down the line or off the ivy or anywhere close to a fan and the drunkard dumps something on the fielder trying to retrieve it. That too, is fan interference. And that too would should result in a dead ball. Victorino heads back to the batter’s box. For fun, let’s say Victorino then strikes out.
Is this hypothetical Macchione a hero in Chicago? What if that play gets the Cubs into the World Series where they eventually win? It happened to the Yankees in 1996.
For the record, I am not suggesting any Cubs buffoons try this. No one would want the Cubs to win this way. I don’t even like it when outfielders raise their hands instead of digging for the ball among the outfield ivy. Earn it, people. What I’m asking is: Would a hypothetical Macchione be as revered for an impeccably timed beer dump as, say, Steve Bartman was for his attempt at a foul ball in 2003?
There you go Cubs, all the reason you need not to let Victorino hit it anywhere down the line.
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