Pictoral Evidence That The NHL’s Bias Toward Hot Russians Is Foolish
I want to know what the deal is with Russian NHL players having to comment on how they’d only date Russian women because Russian women are beautiful; or that they would never consider dating American women because they’re gross, fat and ugly. At least that’s what I gathered from Capitals playoff breakout goalie Simeon Varlamov (his friends call him Semyon) who said that just the presence of American women make his poor retinas burn with the fire of 1,000 Alexander Ovechkin hot sticks. At a cursory glance, I can see where they’re coming from. The Russians gave us Maria Sharapova. We gave them … Rosie O’Donnell. It’s hardly considered an even trade.
On the other hand, I have a hard time believing all girls, in a country that I’m pretty sure is responsible for introducing the unibrow into society, are knockouts. So I’d like to take this moment to look back at some famous Russian women, not for their standout contributions in leadership, the arts or education, but for how they’ve contributed to the physical gene pool.
Catherine II (Catherine the Great)
Not much of a looker here, and I’m guessing the fact that she, uh, really liked her horse and that she technically died on the pooper like Elvis aren’t exactly helping the attractive factor.
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Ayn Rand
Come on, just look at that sweet face and…tell me this girl didn’t get called Man Rand. Nothing against her literary accomplishments, but is it possible she felt the need to write 1,100 page novels because she certainly wasn’t about to win the masses over with face time?
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Nadia Petrova
Well maybe this is just because we’re reaching too far back in history. Maybe characteristics have improved. To which I give you Exhibit C, Nadia Petrova, currently 10th in the WTA Tennis Rankings and someone I’d consider pretty “current” as far as looks go.
Which is not very fair. But that’s just a bad angle, right?
Uh…and this one too? Really, what is going to finally drive the point home here?
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I’m not even out to argue that U.S. women are the most attractive, I’m just having a problem understanding what’s wrong with shunning this …
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… Knowing you could have doomed yourselves to a life of this instead.
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Photos courtesy of Flickr
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