The 2009 All-WNBA Goofy Name Team
I’ve held my tongue on this issue long enough, players in the WNBA have strange names. Call me old school if you must, but whatever happened to “regular” basketball names like Anfernee, Shaquille and Dikembe. I won’t apologize for being traditional, but I will try to embrace the goofy names flecked among WNBA rosters by presenting the 2009 All-WNBA Goofy Name Team.
PG DeWanna Bonner, PHX
DeWanna Bonner? Maybe after I get to know her better. [Rimshot].
SG Cappie Pondexter, PHX
All season, I’ve been under the impression that the Mercury’s highest scorer was an old bi-focaled Jewish man from Brooklyn. No one tells me anything.
SF Anna Montanana, MIN
Oddly, Billy Ray Cyrus pretends to be Anna Montanana’s TV father as well. Couldn’t ma and pa Montanana just name her Annanna?
PF Chamique Holdsclaw, ATL
She hasn’t been the same since the Sorting Hat removed her from her beloved Hufflepuff House and put her in with Slitheryn.
C Cheryl Ford, DET
Truly one of America’s more forgotten presidents.
RES Alexis Hornbuckle, DET
Would you believe Hornbuckle is her stage name? Alexis Sledgehammer is her real name.
RES Tan White, Kiesha Brown & Chante Black, CON
At some point in this season Tan Ecru Eggshell Opal White is going to pass to her teammate Chante Black, who will alley-oop to Kiesha Brown (or whatever the layup version of the alley-oop is), thus completing the first excess color wheel transition basket in WNBA history.
RES Ashley Battle, N.Y.
Her first name says, “Be my guest, drive the lane. It’s okay.” He last name says, “…Because I LOVE clotheslining suckers.”
RES DeLisha Milton-Jones, L.A.
Little known fact: DeLisha’s sister, Scrumptia and Yummya, were also good at basketball, but both had bad knees.
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Photos courtesy of Yahoo! via AP
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