The 2009 All-WNBA Goofy Name Team
I’ve held my tongue on this issue long enough, players in the WNBA have strange names. Call me old school if you must, but whatever happened to “regular” basketball names like Anfernee, Shaquille and Dikembe. I won’t apologize for being traditional, but I will try to embrace the goofy names flecked among WNBA rosters by presenting the 2009 All-WNBA Goofy Name Team.
Debriefing Buffalo: The 5 Stages of Terrell Owens
Terrell Owens is as talented as he is maligned. And his behavior has been well-documented across 13 NFL seasons. But now that Owens is in Buffalo, the Bills’ proud fanbase deserves a quick refresher course in how to read their new receiver. Quite simply, it all boils down to five different levels of threatening behavior. So in the grand tradition of the U.S. Government’s DEFCON levels of readiness, we present the five stages of Terrell Eldorado Owens.
The Fancier the Suit, the Wetter the Backside
First is was Italian Flavia Zaccari, then Americans Ricky Berens and Tyler Clary. Each an Olympic or Olympic-level athlete, each using the high-tech Jaked J01 swimsuit, all creating unintentional butt-vents right before a heat. Three split suits. It’s like a plague. A plague where God wants its victims to accidentally become semi-nude and freak out all the Italian grandmas.
President Obama Doesn’t Care About Athletic People
Have you ever been asleep, only to be subconsciously jarred awake by a loud noise? Then while you’re lying there, dazed and still half-slumbering, it occurs to you that you may have dreamed the loud noise that supposedly woke you up in the first place?
That weary, displaced emotion is what I’ve been feeling about our president ever since the baseball All-Star Game. Something ain’t quite right. It’s unsettling. And it’s only getting worse.
I’m beginning to think that he isn’t really all that into sports.
The Fate Of Two Aggro Olympians Pass Like Ships In the Night
As the saying goes, when one door closes, a window opens. So a long as you’re into climbing through open windows, it all evens out.
The closing door, in this case, was slammed earlier this week on 28-year-old, Olympic silver medalist Kim Willoughby, who was sentenced earlier this week to five years probation for assaulting Sara Daniel, someone she did not know, outside a club in Honolulu two-and-a-half years ago.
