The Sultan of S’What: The Only Thing I’ll Miss About Sammy Sosa
As a diehard Cubs fan, I’ve been pelted with questions about Sammy Sosa’s retirement announcement all week. I say pelted because every inquiry leaves an emotional welt, like pops from a paintball gun.
I never liked Slammin’ Sammy. Not in the ’98 home run race with Mark McGwire, not in the ’03 fungo bat incident and certainly not when he magically forgot how to speak English in front of Congress. I don’t dislike Sosa because of his assumed – but never proven (UPDATE: Proven) – steroid use. I didn’t like him before that was on anyone’s radar. Sosa was a garbage-time stat collector with a penchant for striking out when the Cubs really could’ve used a sac fly (he led the league in K’s in three different seasons and led the Cubs in Ks from 1997-2003). Of his 609 home runs, 326 of them were solo shots. 130+ of them came when there was a 4 or more run difference.
So, no. I’m not sad he’s retiring officially. I wasn’t sad when he unofficially retired in 2007 or the numerous semi-retirements he’s had since 2004.
But if there is anything I will miss about Sosa, it will be his sprint out to right field as Cubs announcer Wayne Messmer announced “Play Ball!” at Wrigley Field. He looked like a bull, and came charging out of the dugout like he knew something we didn’t. As the team’s star for much of the 90s, seeing him barrel into the outfield always seemed to come with a promise of something glorious.
Perhaps that’s why I never liked Sosa. Because every sprint promised something glorious. And for all its late 90s bluster, he never delivered. But Cubs fans always go back for more, don’t they? And Sosa’s gallop never ceased to fill me with hope. I waited as calmly for Sosa to be great as he said he’ll wait for an induction into the Hall of Fame. I suspect both will yield the same results.
So there you go. I’ll miss hoping for something great from him.
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